Moral of the day: Looking at happy pix of Hoppy Sport Sport on FB and playing Adele is a sure-fire route to tears.Me. Today at 5:15 p.m.
Well darlings, this is the first day I’ve been sad but I caused it myself now that I look back at today. I looked at my old facebook photos of Hoppy Sporty Sport. Hoppy will probably always be attractive to me; he is a golden boy in my eyes. I just knew I needed to move on. And I should I have. I felt a weight lifted when I moved out. And I have not felt sad one moment since I left him, until today.
But I looked at those old FB photos today and you know you don’t post the hard moments. You post the happy moments or you make them look happy. I looked and thought it would be fine and it kinda soaked in my head a bit. So I felt lonely today.
Then I played Adele while I was making dinner. And I was tired and I was hungry. I really did it to myself didn’t I? Yep. I cried a little. I felt sad. I missed his amazing hugs. And sweet kiss. Now they weren’t passionate mind you but they were sweet. He is sweet and kind and wanted the best for me. Darlings he gave me a letter when I left where he called me a great woman. Sigh.
Now I did do the right thing. I took a nap, I ate. I went for a luscious run outside in the gorgeous sunshine in my beautiful city and I felt kick-ass cool.
I may have to stop dating these wankers off Bumble. I think it makes me sad. What do you think I should do?
Here’s what I want and maybe you can give me some advice you wise women (and men) out there.
I think I want a friends with benefits situation. Someone to have a drink with or go listen to music, to laugh and talk and flirt and have sex with. But not text everyday, not even see each other every week I don’t think.
I want my independence. I don’t want to plan my life around anyone except myself right now. I have friends and family and I will of course be there for them but you know what I mean, “Why are you staying up so late?” Or “Why are you on the phone so long?” Or “I don’t want to eat that.” None ‘o that.
I want to have fun. I don’t mind at all to ride my bike by myself, run, work out, go to a gallery, shop, read, watch a film. I do mind to go to a concert and it seems weird to others to go to Happy Hour and have a little conversation with yourself about life.
I want to flirt and be flirted with, and have some banter and feel beautiful.
Cuz I am.
Gimme some advice sweet readers.