Epiphanies after sexy time with Sexy Lips

Moral of the day: You gotta have a voice. 

Me. Friday night at 6:14 p.m.
Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

So I’ve been thinking about the sexy time with Sexy Lips and perhaps I’m overthinking but a couple of things bother me.

He undressed me and just kind of looked at me and he’s standing there in a t-shirt, boxers AND socks. How is that okay? How is that sexy? He knew I was not confident because I had basically told him also that I was “squishy in the middle.” Also girls HE was squishy in the middle just as much as me or more! I always forget that men have a better depiction of themselves and most women I know are constantly picking ourselves apart. So… no more texting people that I’m “squishy in the middle.” Fuck that shit. Take it or leave it. It’s not that bad; I’ve had three babies bitches. Get over it and let’s have some fun. 

Okay secondly he did make a quick pass at the nipples but not enough, not remotely enough and that’s it for foreplay besides poking at me with his dick to get hard after we got in bed. Ugh. 

Thirdly, after a bit of poking he asked me to suck his balls and I said okay and they just appeared above my head. I want the laughing with tears emoji here and I don’t have it. Where’s my sucking? Huh? 

Then those noises. Oh man. I understand each to his own and you get into the sex and all but it was unnerving and hard to stay hot when he’s whimpering like a baby throughout. 

Lastly he asked if I give blow jobs and I said yes. I did not ask if he would go down on me but tit for tat babies. I’ve been giving blow jobs the last six years and got nothing down there in return. I’m done with that shit. 

I had to process all this the last few days. Also he was arrogant. I think. Yeah he was. I was gonna say he was shy but nah he was knowing how smart he is and not realizing how smart I am. That’s fine to not know how smart I am but then you don’t get to show your smarts either. All or none.

So from the three dates I have had so far I want to take pieces of each of them and then I’m gonna need to throw another type ‘a man in there to make it good. 

I need some of that worship that Einstein had for me cuz I’m a goddess, as are we all darlings. 

I want a guy to know that he is goddamn lucky to be hanging with me, that he has some of my time. As I am him but I usually always know that. 

I want a guy to be a kind soul inside like Coach is, a good person. And someone whom I can make laugh. 

I want a great kisser like sexy lips, with the hands on the face and the sensual part of that. 

But lastly I need the cherry on top. When we go to the bedroom (or the couch or the kitchen floor or the back seat of the car) I want him to go into full on sexy porn time bitches. Passionate, giving to each other, front, back, side, up down, little bites and pulling the hair and lips everywhere. 

You know as I reread this I was gonna say I could do without one but no, I can’t. Even for an FWB they need to know they are goddamn lucky and I’m not fucking an asshole Trump fan who’s a jerk and I want kissing and I want passion. That’s not too much. 

I’m not asking for jewelry or trips or fixing my car. 

I’m not asking for Good morning or how’s your day texts. 

You can’t be married or living with someone but otherwise I’m not asking for exclusivity. 

Let’s get a fucking drink and flirt then go bang our brains out. 

And goddamn if I didn’t lose a fucking ring at Sexy Lips house I just bought at a flea market that I fucking love. Goddamn it. It was gorgeous too. 

Don’t wear jewelry you love to go fuck. 

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