End of week 2: Orgy invite, Tantric Man, Hung out w/ the ex, Epiphany #2

Moral of the week…

You don’t gotta rush this darlin’. Take your time and be at peace with yourself. Oh and talk to some females.

Friday & Saturday.

Just a quick update as I haven’t been on another date but had three interesting things happen with men and another realization about myself.

Orgy invite?

First the orgy invite. It’s from a man who is supposedly Italian, cute AF from the pix and 42. However when I showed my millennial friend she said he was on her Bumble as a 33-year-old. Hmmmm. If he is actually like his picture I do not care if he is 33 or 42. I am nervous because the squishy-in-the-middle thing but remember I’m not supposed to worry about that now (Epiphany after Sexy time with Sexy Lips post). He doesn’t look 42. He messages me on Friday:

Do you have plans tonight?

Cleaning? lol {Whew I know reader, so sexy right? Fiyahhh}

Later I say: What are you doing tonight?

Out with a friend. You still adulting?

This sounds sort of like an invitation but is it?

I could clean early if I had a reason to.

Ok. serious question for you. Are you open to dating boys, girls, or both?

I read. And re-read. Am I? I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to try it but I’m not sure I’m ready. I have made a blogging friend and so I reach out to her on Twitter: Carrie Jones datiedoozies.home.blog. Carrie agrees he is cute and helps me form a reply

Huh I haven’t given it much thought. Right now I’m into guys. But I’m not ruling it out. Just not sure I’m there yet.

Thanks Carrie!

Okay. Just checking. Have a couple of friends whom I team up with regularly if you might be interested.

Will definitely keep it in mind. How does that work?

Oh pretty low key. There could be full interaction, or no physical interaction, depending on how we all feel and like each other. Plenty of respect and hopefully a new friendship. 🙂 Buongiorno!

So that invite is hanging out over there to be mulled over and considered.

Next: Tantric man

He has listed on his profile that he is into that. I asked about it and he wrote four paragraphs which I will sum up for you as: It’s very time-consuming and you have to be open and really into each other and it’s a time commitment. Carrie told me this:

It’s used a lot in sex therapy. It’s a way to transfer spiritual energy, gain trust, and experience sex in a slow, intimate, non threatening setting. It can be really healing and QUITE pleasurable.

That sounds pretty awesome.

You should go for it . See over here we just get the good ol jackhammer – it’s awful

So I’m meeting Tantric man for a drink next week hopefully if our schedules can align.

Friday Night Loser Feeling

I was very cranky Friday night but was trying to be mature. I had a big Saturday with an all-day meeting and then a “porch-sitting” birthday party so I was excited about Saturday. And Sunday was booked with a storytelling group and a hiking group. But I needed to adult a bit. So I shopped at an expensive home store that pissed me off, went to Trader’s for weekly sustenance, came home and cleaned {I even vacuumed and washed the tub/toilet!}. then I was cranky because I was home on Friday night and I felt like a loser. I live downtown so I can see folks on the sidewalks going to and fro from the bars in the area. I’d been invited out to a crazy night of drinking but had said no because the meeting. I wanted to be okay for the meeting at 9 a.m. Saturday morning. And I was tired from the week. But still feeling sad and down and like a loser. Yes I’m utterly ridiculous and I don’t know why anyone likes me. I’m fairly pathetic sometimes.

I talked to my daughter on the phone for two hours finally and felt immensely better. That’s what I needed; that connection. I realized the first week I had talked to my sister and two of my kids and had talked with no one this week. Mistake. Note to self: call your family you like.

Hung out with Hoppy Sporty Sport

I moved out sixteen days ago. We cried on each other’s shoulders and he gave me a letter about how I’m a great woman and he’s sorry for hurting me. I will do a full backstory on that whole sitch at some point. Saturday afternoon after my meeting I was near the home I had shared with Hoppy, had two hours to kill before a friend’s birthday celebration and was 30 minutes from my loft. The bday celebration was nearby. I called him to see if I could come lounge on the back deck and enjoy the sunshine. He said yes. I went.

We talked about nothing important. We hugged three times. He’s very closed off but also friendly. He’s sad but not saying that. I kept poking at my feelings while I was there.

I had thought I might have sex if he wanted but didn’t know if that was a good idea or not. I know I don’t want a relationship anymore but he might not be able to handle the non-exclusivity which he would need to know if we did that I think.

We didn’t even kiss. I was bound and determined I would NOT kiss him and he would have to make a move. He did not. I got three great hugs and felt happy I didn’t want to kiss him.

Female Friendships are the Bomb.com

Last but not least my epiphany from the Friday night phone call and the birthday celebration was that female friendships are a balm to my soul. I MUST have this to be happy. I can live without the D but not without my girls. I need more girls though and am working on that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s