Moral of the story: If life throws you a hilarious, kind man who has a great penis, perhaps you should spend some time with him.A few weeks ago. Sorry I been busy boning.
I’m almost shamed to write this and feel like I’m letting the dating blog universe down but damnit this Hinge guy is fucking cool.
How is he cool?
#1 Sexual Relations
The sex is off the charts. Off. The. Charts.
I’m talking we’ve now been hanging out for a month, having sex since date 2 (Get over yourself if you are judging that. Wait these are my dear readers who know about Hook Up Dating and nipple-grazing Einstein look-alikes. You aren’t judging. Okay. Sorry. Moving forward now.) So having sex since date number two.
It’s mind-blowing. It’s good every single time. I didn’t know I could react that way, if ya know what I mean. Like now we know to just get a goddamn towel already cuz it gonna be good. That good. You guys. I didn’t even know this was possible. It ain’t a pill either. It’s just us. So we are a month in. We were together most of this weekend. We had sex eight times between Friday and Monday morning. Eight. At least. Every time I got to the end, multiple times. I don’t know how much detail to go into here because some of you know who I am and I have to see your faces. But let’s just say we could make old people porn and IT WOULD SELL. I know no one. No one. Who is having this much fun. Mother of god.
#2 We talk.
I never had this. I know some people, lots of people, have this. They can talk to their person. I never had it. Hillbilly couldn’t talk. He grunted. Okay that’s mean. But kinda true. Hoppy Sporty Sport would get really upset and just give me what I wanted so I wouldn’t be upset. Or he’d walk out. He couldn’t talk through a problem and be adult about it. It’s fucking hard work.
I’m not just talking about problems. I’m also talking about talking for hours. About life. It’s really fun. I love it. We both like to analyze things, ideas, people.
We are different people and right off the bat we had a problem. Because I was no way in hell gonna be exclusive. Huh. Unh.
And that’s what he wanted. Day TWO. Day TWO he said the R-word. Relationship.
This has completely freaked out some of my younger millennial friends but I think that’s it. We are old. We know what we want. He’s been dating for like 8 years since his last divorce. And I’m a pretty good catch honestly. Yeah I’m a pain in the ass kinda but I like to laugh, kiss, have sex, go do fun things like concerts, don’t get all bunged up about my hair or make-up and I don’t want to get serious. Pretty attractive right?
We discussed this exclusive idea and from moment one I’ve been 100% honest with him about everything I think. I knew the first night that he was pretty special. (I actually didn’t sleep the first five nights after I met him because I was so freaked out to my core that he is so great and fuck he’s a year too early. I’m supposed to have a slut year. Or two. Or really three because I am moving in three.)
So you see I can be completely myself. Because if he doesn’t like it, it’s fine.
He likes it. All of it.
For the first few weeks I retained my rights to go out with whomever I wished. I did agree to tell him about it because honesty. I made myself go out on a date and it was nice. I will write about it; no worries. But I let myself realize that I do want to just hang with him for now. That’s what I said. For now.
I wrote a little card that said, “You’re the only man for me. For now.”
So we’ve talked through that. Also he isn’t very woke so that brings up a lotttttttt of discussions. He’s isn’t a Trumper cuz just no. He’s just not as knowledgable about some things as I would like so I educate him. And honestly I’ve learned some things from him also.
We talk. We listen. Most of the time. Sometimes he does that annoying man thing where he can’t focus. You know because women’s brains are connected and men’s brains are split so they can’t do two things at once? Yeah that. So I have to remember that and try to catch him at the right time. But there are lots of right times. Mostly in bed after sex. Or on the phone.
This post is long enough. #3-#5 will be next time dear readers.
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