Almost 20 years younger. Psssshht. He had to stop and ask for a glass of water.Friday night at 11:06 p.m.
Loyal readers will remember that I downloaded the HUD app back in April the first weekend I was single after Hoppy Sporty-Sport. I did the same thing now that I’m split from Hinge Date #1. Back in the saddle again. Completely different experience this time.
He looked fairly normal on his pix, meaning he was looking into the camera and actually smiling and had clothes on. I asked if he was married in my response to his first message. Negative. I noted that I was “1000 years older.” He said he was attracted to me so it didn’t matter.
I messaged: “Curious what you’d like to come out of this honestly. What would be the best thing you could think tonight?”
“Have a good time with good company and if we end up making out at the end of the night that’s a bonus. How about you?”
I agreed and said I was looking for nothing serious and that I just broke up with someone. That I was just looking for flirting and fun.
He liked this.
He asked me to meet this weekend. I mentioned a time in a few hours at a bar near me. He agreed. Then my stomach started hurting.
Looking back at his profile now, I can see he didn’t post a completely current picture. He arrived in a full beard but it was a nice-looking one. He was bigger in real life than his pictures could show. We talked and it felt really awkward. Then I asked what it was like to date at his age (34), if he was looking for a serious relationship, not me, of course!, but otherwise. He explained that he was and that it was really hard because it was mostly single moms on dating apps. He had no problem with someone having kids. He said it was hard to start a relationship when they could only go on dates about once every two weeks. I told him some funny dating stories (Einstein and Coach that you can read on this blog.) He laughed his ass off. It was fun. We talked for a couple of hours.
He put his hand on my leg and then my back and then my butt. It was nice.
We left the bar and came to a bench near my place and full on made out. It was really nice.
I decided he needed to come on up.
Then it was not great.
He was super nice and a great kisser but I believe he almost had a heart attack about ten minutes into the sexual relations. He had to stop and ask for a glass of water.
Insert eyebrow wiggle here. I was a bit much for him I guess.
I took over on top but it just wasn’t awesome. Then the best part was he did some stuff with his hands. It was nowhere near as amazing, like not even close to what it was with Hinge Date 1 with whom I just broke up. Ughhhh. Please God I can have that sex again in my life? Pleeeeeaaaasssseee.
I don’t want to miss Hinge Date #1. He was kind of adorable. Also not adorable at all. Like last Monday night when he was explaining that cleaning my tub was of the utmost importance in my life and that I had shared some ways he could do better in life so now he’d share some for me. And also that if I’d given him a key he could have cleaned my tub. Oh yeah. That’s why I broke up. Let’s remember that moment when he was looking at me with owly eyes and explaining how I wasn’t good enough because my tub wasn’t immaculate. Fuck. That. Shit.
Ok let me finish with HUD #2. First of all he didn’t finish. I almost did. I tried really hard but no go.
You will like this part I think. He said, “So how does the overnight parking work down here?”
I didn’t want him to stay. I said I didn’t know. Then I said I had a 12-mile bike ride in the morning so I had to get up really early. He took the hint and left.
Next time I will make this clear before anyone comes in. No overnights.
Hey I bagged someone 20 years younger. Not a hottie but a super nice guy who was fun to talk to and make-out with. He said he was gonna make a great blog post. LOL. I hope he does not find this.
On to bigger and better things. I hope.
Photo by Helmi Lutvyandi on Pexels.com