Bumble Biker Booty Call

Don’t limit yourself. You can still get it at your age.

Wednesday, 8:30 p.m.

Let’s call him the Bumble Biker as he has a cyclist physique and a biking shirt on when I met him. Oh by the way he’s 33. Yes for the math wizards that’s 21 years younger than I am.

His profile had two truths and a lie: “I like the outdoors, I’m kinky and a conservative.”

I ventured a guess: “I’m thinking your lie is that you’re conservative.”

“You are very right. Hopefully that means you dig the other two.”

I said it depends on what that means and he volleyed with the idea that it could mean many things.

Duh.

So we chitted and chatted and decided to meet.

On a Wednesday.

He invited me to his hotel room which was 25 minutes away and I invited him to my place with some rules.

Meet for a drink first.

My bedtime was 9.

By myself.

He agreed. He asked what I’d be wearing and I went with the red dress from Hinge #1 date. Hahahahhahahaha my recent break-up.

He said not to wear any underwear. Yassss queen. Snap snap.

We met at a cute bar with way too many lights a block away from my place. He went up to another lady and introduced himself because I was behind the bar which embarrassed the hell out of him and made me laugh my ass off.

We shared my Old-Fashioned and chatted. He asked if I felt ready.

I did.

We walked to my place. The minute the elevator door shut he had me against the wall giving me a deep kiss. Mmmmmm….

We parted to walk to my door. I had trouble getting the key in.

The door shut behind us and he had my dress up already going at it with his tongue.

Oh. My. God.

We threw clothes off and headed to bed. He needs to back off a tiny bit on his hand pressure but other than that. Hell yes hell yes.

Best booty call I’ve ever had. (Okay for those in the know it wasn’t as good as Hinge butttt it was the first time so there’s a handicap, like in golf.

It was rough and tumble but not too rough. Just enough tumble.

Afterward we lounged naked and talked about former relationships and it was fucking cool to hear what he had to say.

I’m a writer. I’m curious as all get out about this stuff.

I told him I was meeting Tantric Man the next day. He gave me some tips on hanging out with people in open relationships.

He realized he needed to go as it was past 8:30. He told me to message him my number in the app.

He put his jeans on, sans underwear, which he’d used to wipe me down after coming on my stomach. Then he stuffed the underwear down his jeans to walk out. I realized later it probably would have been good form to offer him a plastic bag or perhaps a glass of water.

Bad host.

He texted the next day and told me good luck on my date.

I like this. Looking forward to next time with Bumble Biker.

Oh yeah. He has the same name as Hinge #1. Crackkkk me upppp.

Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

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