I don’t have to tell everyone everything right off the bat. I think it makes people treat me differently.Sunday, 3:30 p.m.
So I’ve commenced the #yearofsluttery beeshes. AT LEAST a year. I’m making it a year because I have a tendency to look at the glass as half full with menz and then stay and stay and stay. Therefore I’m making myself, making myself I say, date lots of people for a year. Giving myself a year feels doable. I’m not saying forever ya know? I need a year to see who the hell I am and what the hell I want.
Now for right now, one month into it, I’m a little cray. I’m dating a lot a lot. Perhaps too much. But I want to so I am. I can see a point where I might not, but maybe not. I’m dedicated to doing what I want.
I do not want to hurt anyone however.
So here’s the question. When do I tell guys that I’m not going to be exclusive for a year? If they ask, of course I tell them right off. Here’s how it went down the first month. I tell them in our first messaging, within the first day before we even meet.
With Prince A and Liberal Marine that’s what I did. I think it fucked with Prince A’s mind although he knows everything, about dates and this blog even (although I haven’t shared it with him duh). He even high-fived me when I told him I had realized I was a slut, not a whore!
However, I have a feeling Prince A doesn’t love it and would like me to be exclusive. I’m think I’m going to ask him on our date this Saturday if that’s why he’s been sketch. Or something along those lines. Liberal Marine is not loving the idea and would like me to be all his but he is playing along for now and I see him once a week.
Here’s what I’m thinking though, a reason I shouldn’t spill the beans quite so early; they all have different ideas of what an FWB is. So if I say all this before they meet me then that could be killing some really great possibilities. At first I was thinking I would just run through a bunch of men and not see people more than once. But I’m realizing that it’s cool to really build the friendship part. It’s cool to see how life is going and check in and send sexy texts and how ya doing and hang in there. Also I’ve been thinking that someone could make it through the fire of this year, maybe, and be a lifelong partner. You never know.
So this last week on Hinge I’ve been more reticent about sharing my #yearofsluttery.
I went on a date Sunday with a Tinder holdover, (let’s call him the Businessman), and didn’t say a word about it non-exclusivity. We just had a normal date and it was nice. We had a drink and talked at a nearby bar and then he kissed me goodbye at the door of my building. He’s asked me to hang out this weekend and I’m trying to work him in. Read here about my upcoming week of six dates with six different people in seven days!!!
Now I’m thinking I can have a date and meet and see how it goes and then if I want to see them again I can talk about it. I talked with a cute 35-year-old on Hinge this week (let’s call him the Engineer). After a little chitty chat he asked if I realized he was 35 (yes I did) and said it didn’t matter to him and he was “certainly very attracted” to me but that he wanted to make sure I knew.
I replied, “I’m just wanting to meet different people and have great conversations. I do think age is completely a number as I usually hang out with millennials. The only thing that could put people off I suppose if they were wanting to get serious and have a family.”
He said, “Well I would like to end up in a serious relationship. The family thing is not a concern.”
I said, “Hmmmm well the ball is in your court I suppose. I’ve been in very serious relationships all but four months of my adult life so I’m not there right now. Not saying I wouldn’t get there but am being chill this year. I won’t be offended whatsoever if you wanted to hang out in a year.”
“Well I guess I feel like you have to start somewhere. The best relationships often start as long friendships.”
I agreed and said my schedule was crazy this week but was available next week if he wanted to grab a quick happy hour.
He does and we have a date set for next week!
So here’s what I’m thinking for the rules of this:
#1 I am 100% honest always.
#2 This means if they ask at any time what my goals are I immediately tell them my thoughts.
#3 I can say those thoughts like I did with the Engineer though because they are true.
#4 I will stop on top of my feelings and what is being communicated and how things feel.
I think on the second date I should maybe mention something? On the date with the businessman I told him I’d only been single four months of my adult life. I’m pretty sure he got it.
I will keep you posted! For now I’m going to tell you about my six dates in seven days with six different men!
Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com