Exclusivity before you even meet them? WTF

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Why should I have just one when I can have a buffet?

This week

I’ve experienced quite a bit of rejection the last nine days.

-Prince A blocked me last Monday right before our date. LOL I cursed his dick.

-Baby Ginger said I was vanilla just from my texts.

-Specifically texted The Banker last week. No response.

-Threw out some feelers Friday and Saturday night and none were picked up. The Fireman was twenty miles away with a belly full of tacos and wasn’t movin’.

-Invited the Liberal Marine over Monday and Wednesday and he turned me down. He did ask me out for next weekend as he is out of town this weekend but I’m out of town next weekend.

-Had a first drink with ummm The Kiwi which was fun because he told me hilarious dating stories. I eat that shit up! I love to hear about it. Two not okay things happened when we went outside: 1. he didn’t walk me to my place even though it was night and downtown and he lives a block away. Umm no. 2. We hugged and I stretched up for a kiss and… he turned his head!! LMAO. Okay. That has neverrrrr happened before.

(Okay I had two great dates during the day Saturday and Sunday beeeshes.)

Two guys I want to tell you about specifically because they boggle my mind.

The Oil Rig Guy

This dude matched on Hinge. We talked for a bit and I asked him if he wanted to meet for a drink. I don’t want to talk on an app for a week and be ghosted. Boring. He was out of town he said. When I queried how long, he said he be back next month. He was sketchy about it. When I asked about his job I find out he’s on an oil rig in Alaska, nowhere near me or anyone lol. Now his first message was kinda strange where he said I was an angel. Hmmm okay not so much. He is from my city but took this job for four months. He would be very cranky if I didn’t message him back quickly. I told him I’m dating more than one person. He could not handle it. He’s looking for “the one” but still wanted to talk to me but wanted to be cranky if I was not consistently available. I actually talked with him on Google Hangout. We messaged 48 hours before he was done with me. Okay.

Local Dude

No name for this guy but just wanted to share the interaction with you. We matched and talked. He seemed cool. I began to run him through my questions: Married? Trump thoughts? Pix within this year? New one is: Are you going to text me you want to”choke my pretty mouth with your dick” and lastly I’m not going to date just you right now. He was being funny and earning kisses (his idea for correct answers) all the way up to the last question.

They cannot even deal with this. Like I have not even met you. You want me to only date you. I’m being honest with you.

Either other ladies are not being up front and are dating others OR they don’t have people to date. Or I suppose they also believe in this weird monogamous dating thing before you even know someone.

We were having this great text and then bam he’s done with me. All flirty and fun and then switcheroo judgemental and weird and get away. I asked him to fill me in on why I’m supposed to be exclusive when I haven’t even met him yet. He said I could do what I wanted but he wasn’t into it. I was trying to understand what bothered him. He didn’t need anyone. Just looking for someone to add to his life. Yeahhhh…hmmm.

So I felt bad and rejected and my seester helped me see it wasn’t me. I was fine.

I’m making peace with the thought that IF I found a kickass guy I could take it really slow and someone could possibly maybe make it through the fire to be there. Doubtful. But who knows?

So I’m back to thinking I shouldn’t forthwith say this as they haven’t even met me and think I’m something I’m not.

I’m open to meeting my dude. He’ll have to win my heart and be open to winning me over. I’m not dropping this amazing life for anyone. I don’t want to have to make plans with someone all day everyday.

But I was thinking how it would be cool to have had someone to take me to the concert and laugh and have drinks and fun and still be independent. Eh. We shall see. I still think he lives in the Pacific Northwest, which is where I’m moving in 2023.

One thought on “Exclusivity before you even meet them? WTF

  1. Hmm, my advice for what it’s worth (having had a gazillion of these interactions) is don’t say much about what you’re looking for (except to see what emerges over time) and don’t mention that you might be seeing other guys. Men can honestly not handle that, unless they are poly. Speaking of which, why haven’t you checked out your local poly scene? You mentioned that in relation to the veiled insult from Tantric Man. If guys are going to start criticising you when you’re at your most vulnerable, run away. They are not right for you.


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