If you be on Tinder looking for true love, you’ve got something mixed up my man.2019
I’ve been on and off Tinder now for a couple of months. I will get tired of it and delete it. This has happened multiple times. One reason I go back to Tinder is simply because it has the reputation of being the dating app for people who aren’t wanting a serious relationship. However, everyone has not gotten this memo.
There are many bios that state:
“Looking for LTR” (long-term relationship)
“Looking for the one to make me delete this app” (or some bs like that)
The worst one is: “Looking for my last first kiss.” (Yuck)
It’s Tinder folks. If you actually want to meet someone go find another app. Even Bumble or Hinge is more for the relationship folk, especially Hinge. It’s even in their policies that that’s what you are looking for.
I have a friend who was ready to get serious. She ponied up the dough for E-harmony, met someone cool, and is in a serious relationship with them which will probably lead to marriage. She said that the e-harmony guys are dudes with money that are mostly nice guys, in her experience. Now don’t get your panties in a wad. She wasn’t looking for money and in fact I believe she told me her guy is one of the few she saw that wasn’t wealthy.
Besides being on Tinder the other problem, to me, is this whole “looking for the one” scenario. It seems like that would put a lot of pressure on things from the start? Is it so strange to just meet people and build a friendship with lightness and joy and no expectations for ’til death do us part?
I met a woman at the conference I’m at today and she was telling me about a widower who is on the dating apps and is so serious in his search for “the one.” She keeps telling him to just relax and meet people. He likes hanging out with married women for friendships because then there’s no pressure.
He’s putting the pressure on the circumstance I think. It seems like there are two major dating philosophy camps of single men and one much smaller pool (well and the married guys). The two larger groups are the booty call-purely physical-I want to eat you- guys and the “last first kiss” serious guys. Then there’s small pool of guys who have their shit together and say things like, “Friends first and see what happens,” or “Take it slow and meet new people,” etc.
As I’ve written in other posts I have five questions I ask potential dates and question five is the one where they decide I’m not for them. Question five is, “I’m not ready to be serious right now. I am dating more than one person right now. Can you deal with that?”
I just think the best man would shine in a circumstance like that. The best man would cut through the bullshit and you’d end up spending more time with him eventually, if it’s meant to be. I obviously do not care if he is dating others also. That’s cool. If you find her, go have a wonderful fun life my man. It just wasn’t me right now.
Is that a strange way to approach it?
Photo by Lum3n.com on Pexels.com