1st date with Zen Man

Epiphany: I have possibly met the male version of myself. But who will listen? We both want to talk so much!

Wednesday, 10:00 p.m.

I was looking forward to this first date more than I have any other so far. We matched on Tinder a few weeks ago and he’s been the perfect message-r in that he didn’t blow up my phone but he stayed in contact and wasn’t upset when I was so busy with my conference and Thanksgiving. He initiated the contact each time. I like that. So after Thanksgiving he got in touch and asked if I was back in normal routine yet. I said I almost was and asked if he’d like to go to happy hour so we set the date.

Here’s why I was so looking forward to it. He was active doing different projects each time we talked. I could sense this joie de vivre that seemed similar to mine. The cherry on top was that he was making a Festivus pole, then he made it and sent a picture of it. I could see his living room in the picture. The TV stand was circa 1960s, my favorite kind of furniture! What?! Then I complimented it and he said his vision was to have mid-century modern in the living room and transition to modern modern as you moved through the house. That is some crazy kind of shit I would come up with bitches.

He said he was thinking of putting together a Festivus dinner for the cool kids complete with airing of grievances and feats of strength, so then I told him my goal was to be seen as a “cool kid” and get an invite.

This is all before I met him face-to-face.

The other thing I liked was that in his Tinder pic he was in front of a mountain. It looked like Colorado.

I picked a cute downtown bar that’s just fucking adorable. I had to feed Hoppy’s cats (they used to be mine too) so I was driving which is unusual. He was a little late but let me know and I was fine to sip my old-fashioned and have a peaceful moment to myself.

He arrived at 5:45 and we didn’t stop talking until 10:45. Yes the first date lasted five hours. Normally I wouldn’t stay out that late on a work night but I have today off for a doctor visit.

So… he talks. A lot. A lot. But his stories are funny. He works alone and lives alone so he has a lot of words “stored up.” LOL

He was cognizant of talking so much and apologized several times. Once he said he needed to get in control of his ego, that it was part of talking so much, that he was “an attention whore.” So even though he dominated the entire night’s conversation he knew it and at one point he just stop talking and looked at me sheepishly. It was pretty cute.

He’d even ask me a question and then when I was starting to answer he’d just start talking again.

For a first date I could deal with it. I’m wondering if it’s like a stopper you pull out and there’s a big flood and then it will slow down. We shall see. It’s important to me to be heard and understood and I’m not sure how much of that happened. He said he was ADD and I can totally see that.

But he was funny and his soul is kind. He has great friendships he’s kept for years and years which I learned from the stories. He’s fully knowledgable that life has been very easy for him and that he’s been handed opportunities and able to talk himself out of trouble.

His full-time work is a consultant but a side gig has been to work concerts as a liaison/security type person because he loves live music so much. Now you’d think security would be beefy. He’s not. At all. But he has this personality that can win people over and uses that. He had some great concert stories.

He walked me to my car and I was glad that he kissed me. I’m old. Kiss me already if you are attracted. Let’s get this show on the road!

They were good kisses. Very good.

He said I was definitely invited to the Festivus dinner.

I had to tell him though that I had lied on Tinder about my age.

I have 49 on there instead of 55. I noticed that when I turned 55 I was not getting any matches. I had aged out of people’s matches. Um no. I don’t look 55 nor act it. So I don’t feel bad about putting that age. Unleashing the Cougar and I have talked about this. Dudes are lying about their age. You can see this grizzled gray dude and he says he is 41. Ha.

I want to get it out of the way on the first date because honesty is important to me. I don’t like lying about the age on there but I’m playing the game I suppose. So I told him and he smiled and hugged me and told me I look AMAZING. Then he said it was awesome because I’d know things like who Bob Newhart was. I laughed so hard. He asked me out for this weekend. I said yes. We kissed a little more. His smile was so cute.

He then texted later to say that he was sure it was hard to “fess up” but that he liked me better since we could discuss the 70s, the best decade in his opinion. I like who he is as a person. We shall see if he wants to know who I am more fully. And you know, the sex, if that part is good. Fingers crossed.

In other news…

I’ve deleted all apps except Tinder but my card has been hidden since Thanksgiving. I didn’t want my hometown dudes to see me and have so much gossip; also didn’t want to meet anyone from that area. But I’m not in the mood to match with anyone new right now.

I’m feeling more settled or something and I want to work on other things in my life, not just meeting men. I’ve reached out to my girlfriends and have two holiday events set up that I’m so excited for! I have family coming in too.

I’m still going to have fun, don’t worry readers. I will have adventures to share. I just am not feeling the pressure from myself to meet new people constantly. It may be because I have Tantric Man, the DJ, the Zen Man and even the Poet is still in contact. He’s been texting and has extended two very last minute invitations to hang out but I’ve been busy already both times. As I said before, his millennial ass will have to chase me down. I’m open to seeing him again but after our snafu a few weeks ago I’m not worrying about it or making any moves toward him.

Oh, Liberal Marine reached out to tell me he has some health problems, which I had figured out about a month ago on our last date. He is not to get too excited so he can’t see me or talk about sex. He teased me it’s my fault because he was trying to keep up with me. Lol. I truly hope he will be okay. He’s a good person through and through.

Photo by Symeon Ekizoglou on Pexels.com

4 thoughts on “1st date with Zen Man

  1. Yes ditto to Writer of Words ๐Ÿ™‚ And about your age, I totally agree. It’s your business and if you regularly get told you look sooo much younger, play the anti-midlife women game to your own advantage! I certainly did, and when I met my beloved, I fessed up on our third (sex) date, when I knew he was a keeper. Turns out, he hadn’t even looked at my age on my POF profile and didn’t even realise I was older than him by 4 years, and not younger by 6. It was irrelevant, and remains so ๐Ÿ™‚

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