From a sad sack of sick to being chill

Girl when you ever going to take that Buddhist philosophy inside you and calm the fuck down? You will be so much happier.

Message to myself this afternoon

I’m sick. I mentioned it on an earlier post. Fucking sick. The only good thing about it is it gives me an excuse to be home tonight and not feel like a big loser. If you choose to be home you are not a loser. I wanted to shake my big booty in a fancy dress at a club tonight with friends.

All the frands are busy or out of town. The DJ had asked me several weeks ago but didn’t “craft plans to leave the charlatan” friend I was gonna hang out with but you know I’m sick as fuck so it’s all good. More on the DJ in a moment.

A couple of interesting things happened so far today, New Year’s Eve. Wait for sneeze. God that one hurt like a motherfucker.

I messaged The Poet and Tantric Man that I’m sick and we’d have to reschedule. The Poet was set up for New Year’s Day and Tantric Man January 2nd. 😦

The Poet was all que sara sara that’s life baby. Ugh. I was in a state of tears this morning from being so sick I didn’t even feel like organizing my place. Also it’s my third day of being sick, alone in my fucking loft and I’m over it already. Tantric Man however sent a gd gif of the blue monster from the movie giving the little girl a hug. I responded thank you and that I was pretty down and he offered to call and talk and cheer me up. Fucking nice as shit. I accepted and we talked for an hour. We had a great chat. I did feel cheered.

We were getting ready to say goodbye and my phone buzzed saying the DJ was calling. I told Tantric goodbye and called the DJ back.

“Hello Juliet!”

I was confused but laughing at him. “What are you doing?”

“Come look out your window!”

I saw him on the sidewalk in shorts on a 35 degree day no less. He asked if I was well enough for a drink. I’d have to be heaving vomit not to go bitches. Hell yes I’m well enough for a drink!

I threw on cute clothes, moisturizer and was ready in five. Now in all honesty he didn’t just come to see me but was moving out of an office nearby. So what? I was glad to see him.

Now I haven’t told you that he pissed me off last night. I had texted him I was sick, that I took two naps yesterday and missed a party and felt sorry for myself. He texted it sounded normal to him. At first I thought he meant himself then realized he was talking about me, which made me angry. I asked him if he was being salty and he said no, just a dick. I texted, “Good to know.”

Fucking A that made me mad. I was done with his ass and seriously considering telling him to go fuck himself. Then he shows up on the sidewalk and I went running down with nary a concern. Ha.

I forgot to even talk about it while we were together but texted him later all the things I told you above, anger, fuck off, etc. He said he didn’t intend to offend and was making fun and I explained how down I was. He said thanks for letting him know.

Okay now the drink. He was in a black tshirt and shorts and ball cap and this look works for him. He was cute. I also like the whiskers he’s got going right now. I’ve realized I really like whiskers or a well-trimmed beard. Very much.

He’d read the blog post from yesterday and brought it up immediately. He didn’t remember using the r-word (relationship) and asked if I was taking creative license. I wasn’t. He had said something and we got interrupted by the server or something and never got back to it. He asked what I meant by the word and I reminded him he’d texted me a few weeks ago about that also. “Caring, regard, respect and intimacy,” I repeated back. We agreed according to those terms we are in a relationship. He said he didn’t think I was in a place to be in a committed one-person thing right now and I agreed. So we are good as we are. I’m hoping to spend some more time together and we said we would soon so we shall see how things go.

He also brought up where I called bullshit on his “let’s wait for sex.” He said he didn’t have a date Christmas Eve morning, to which I replied of course it was fine if he did and he said of course. He said he’d had sex recently and wanted to wait. We are just on different ideas on this. I want to have sex as much as possible and feel like I gain energy from it. For him it is an energy drain sometimes and he likes to wait. I should have asked for more details I suppose. He did want to wait. And I didn’t. LOL We both got our wishes I suppose.

We talked about family and relationships. I always, always like talking to him. I fucking love his eyes. (Hi DJ, did you know that?)

I told him he’d dropped me for tonight and not “crafted a plan.” He said he didn’t want to craft something and then I’d turn it down. He was waiting for me to ask him about it. I said I would never have done that. So twas a stalemate. He has plans tonight (I didn’t ask what) and I don’t.

But, lol, my sick ass needs to stay home and recover. So I’m gonna work on some writing and do that organization stuff now that I feel like I’m not gonna die (Mucinex bitches, it’s worth $20).

Fingers crossed for next NYE.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

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