Less hookup and more connection is what I want. I think.Sunday hangover musings
I deleted Tinder about a month ago and I haven’t missed it. At all. But it was the end of the year, the holidays, and all the insanity of final projects for grad school. Also I have a trio of people I’m seeing: The Poet, The DJ, Tantric Man and I saw them all in December. So I’ve been busy 😉
I was down and out New Year’s night and randomly decided to download OKCupid and check it out, at midnight. By 10 a.m. the next morning, there were 87 likes. Four days later it’s at 280. How exciting. I can’t see these people though unless I pay $20 which I’m not going to do.
It has a tab called Doubletake of people Recommended for Me. I’m not sure how they got these. I can swipe through right or left like Tinder. If they’ve messaged me a little blue bar pops up and tells me. There are so many people it gets super tedious. I don’t know why it feels more tedious than Tinder. If I swipe right and “Like” them and they swiped right and liked me it supposedly shows up in Matches. I don’t believe this really because how do I have 280 likes and only 17 matches.
In the Discovery Tab you can put a search for age, location, and when they were last online. But then you have a choice of Special Blend, whatever the fuck that is, Match % which is the number of questions we answered the same, and Last Online. This is overwhelming to me so I just look at Match % but I don’t know that I believe someone answering the same as me on many of those questions will make a good relationship.
Yeah I said that R word. I decided I don’t want to hang out with any boobheads and someone has to seem kinda cool. I mean I’ve guess I’ve been kind of doing that but the change here is in my attitude. I had set this thing in my mind that I couldn’t find someone cool because I’m not ready.
What I’m not ready for and will never be ready for is being controlled I’ve realized. I’m not ready to give up my freedom. I’m not ready to have someone mad if I don’t see them everyday.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not ready for just one kickass guy who has a life. I could be. Maybe.
I realized I’ve been setting all these boundaries up for myself that were not necessary. Just relax sweety. Listen to your female wisdom and stay open.
I’m losing interest in OKCupid already although I have four dates set up for Monday-Thursday, but two are the DJ and Tantric Man. Two are new guys from OKCupid.
Monday: The Hot Yogi
Monday afternoon I’m meeting a true Zenmaster I believe, the Yogi we shall call him. Handsome as hell if his pix are true. He may be too intense for me. He’s very into alternative stuff like yoga, philosophy and shiz like that. He messaged me first which I like and was flirty which I like, saying my photos were cute and he’d be happy to be more specific at some point. He wrote about my saying that I’m irreverent and explicated it, his words, and wrote about being verbose and that I can make fun of him. It was fun, flirty, intelligent and deep. We are meeting for a glass of wine tomorrow afternoon.
Tuesday: The DJ
We moved our date that was tonight to Tuesday because I have a hangover from my shenanigans with my gay bestie last night. We had a grand time, a tiki bar, then a gay bar that was having “Bear” night (yum I can look you know), and then dancing at two places. I should have drank some water. I did not. It was rough today. I texted the DJ at 4:30, we were to meet at 5:30.
“I’ve been in bed all afternoon and I’m knocking back water like a bitch and ugh I’m on the hangover struggle bus. I still want to come even though I’m not remotely at my best. If you want to see me not at my best- and possible alcohol-induced stomach upset.”
He called immediately and teased me it was a hard sell and his tone just sent me into laughing so hard. We moved the date to Tuesday and talked for over an hour on the phone. He has not mentioned once the trip he said he would research after I asked if he wanted to go somewhere warm for my 3-day weekend in January so that’s probably not happening. But we talked and we talked deep baby. We talked about past relationships, personal growth, projects we are working on (his are male support and bonding, mine are female). It was a great chat.
Wednesday: The “Why did I swipe right on him?” guy from the ‘burbs
He has a nice smile and eyes. He’s 52. His bio is okay, kinda bland but that’s okay. Everyone isn’t a creative writer. I liked that he just finished up a degree and his golden rule is to treat the janitors like the CEo. Eh. I asked him for happy hour and he said he doesn’t “drink and drive.” Ummm okay. If someone has one drink and eats an appetizer and talks for an hour I don’t consider that drinking and driving but he does so… the place I chose has drinks and coffee and tea so it’s cool. I may not drink either honestly. Alcohol sounds nasty right now.
Thursday: Tantric Man
Friday I’m going to a storytelling event and might tell the lost condom story if I don’t chicken out.
Okay I better go sleeps.