Five dates in four days?

Listen to your pussy. She knows.

Reading “Pussy: A Reclamation” and trying to live what resonates

It was supposed to happen. Five dates in four days. Yes, I’m crazy. Remember how I was sick last week? And I had to cancel everything? I wanted some D already and some male companionship bitches. And some fun.

I downloaded OKCupid New Year’s evening and at this point have 300+ likes but it’s unwieldy as I explain in this post. However what I do love about OKCupid is that it has the most writers/thinkers I’ve seen on any site. The bios of some of these folk are incredible. They write a full on treatise sometimes. I’m thinking that it’s because OKCupid allows so many words whereas the others cut you off. So three of the dates this week were new guys from OKCupid.

I ended up canceling three dates and one guy ghosted me. I rescheduled one so I ended up going only on two dates this week.

Monday: Ghosted by The Widower

The photo is this hot as shit dude with some tattoos on his lovely biceps. He’s sitting in a chair on a front porch smiling into the camera with his shirt on, no sunglasses. All the things darlings. We match on Sunday, begin to chitty chat Monday and he asks what I’m looking for. I say I resonate with what he says on his bio which is along the lines of I’m open to what the universe brings but I’m not into being serious right now. He asks how much I’ve dated and I tell him. He says this will be his first date in two years.

He asks me if I can ride a bike, and cool me says bicycle? Yes. hahahahaha. He says he has a Harley and invites me to go riding. On Monday. During work. I say I can’t go and rats. He asks what “rats” means. Ummm okay that’s a dumb thing to say but wouldn’t the average 52-year-old American dude know what “rats” means? I begin to smell one.

I ask if he’d like to grab a slice of pizza that night and he says yes. I ask for a photo “right now” for security purposes and he sends one of him with a cute bulldog. His bio says he is 52 but he looks 38 so I bring that up and say it’s fine, of course (Lord Jesus it is fine, he is fine), but just wondering. He says he will be 53 next July. I ask the name of the dog and a few hours later he says “Guapo” which means a handsome male. I ask if he’s still up for pizza. Nothing. Two hours later I ask again. Nothing. I look at the dating app and he has unmatched from me. I call just for shits and grins and leave a nice voicemail saying I hope he’s okay 😉

What was that? Is there a scam to get photos and my phone number? That’s all he got. I don’t think he was real. I just don’t know what the point was.

Tuesday: The DJ & One of the Best Meals of My Entire Life

The DJ and I had rescheduled our Sunday night date because I had a hangover from my shenanigans with my gay bestie Saturday night. Then Tuesday I was tired as hell and asked him to come over instead of me going there. He said yes. Then later he mentioned seeing the Christmas lights from his place and that I hadn’t done it. I said, “Noted.” He said I should just put my big girl pants on and come down. I said okay and he responded that he would make it worth my while and sent a reservation time at a fancy-dancy place I’ve never been to. Then the big girl pants things pissed me off so I chewed off his face through text ending with “Scarlett Jones always has her big pants on.” He responded, “Noted.” He’s a card. Yes he is.

So I went. I was exhausted and cranky and frazzled but I put on my gold cowboy boots and got my ass there on time bitches. And oh my. It was a good decision.

First off it was just good to see the DJ. I like him. We have a good vibe together. I had to lay my head on his shoulder for a minute and just take a chill pill because I was just frazzled as all hell. Then I felt a little better. Then we got to the fancy-dancy restaurant and it is fucking perfect. I felt even better as I drank some beautiful wine. We talked and talked. It’s so easy to talk. And we listen to each other. Then… the food. Oh gracious the food. This steak for two was massive and we ate it all. Bitches, the asparagus and mashed potatoes were exquisite. It felt as if my body just opened up and said, “Oh we’re being fed. Truly fed.” I was a carnivorous beast just feasting. Man I needed that.

Then we went to his place and climbed up on his fucking big ass bed and fooled around for over an hour. He pleasured me first, as a gentleman does, with his mouth. Then I must say I gave an epic BJ, possibly my best I’ve ever given, or the one I’ve gotten the most into. Some normal sex then he went to town with his hand and I uhhh lost it. Twice. We should have put a towel down. Ooops. I came home to sleep the best sleep I’ve had in weeks fueled by sex and wine and relaxation.

Wednesday: The Yogi

This is an intellectual. I am not. I’m smart but not an intellectual. I will probably annoy this fellow but we shall see. He’s very tall and has a massive beard which he says may be to cover his face as he ages because he is having trouble with the whole aging thing. I’m ten years older than he and didn’t say anything about aging. We went to a ramen place and had wonderful conversation. It was fun getting a new perspective on life through his eyes. And he was a great listener to me. I feel out of my depth on talking about some subjects. He knows all the names and philosophies and is just crazy smart.

I could see when the check was brought that it was a thing though and so I slyly slid my card over there when he wasn’t looking. When the server took the ticket his whole demeanor changed to this joyful thing. I’m poor lol. But I just can’t deal with the awkwardness of the check. I’ve never actually paid for a date’s meal before. I’ve split with The Poet but everyone else has paid for me and I’m ever so grateful. I’m so goddamn poor you guys.

We talked for over an hour and it was lovely. Someone needed our table but we weren’t really done with the date so we went outside. He gave me this great hug and then kiss. Then we were making out, then we were kind of clutching onto each other. Yeah. On the sidewalk. Yumm. We considered both of us in our minds heading to my place to seal the deal but I wasn’t there. We went for a walk and talked a bit more then I headed home. I hope to see him again. He’s very different than anyone I’ve ever met. But it’s date one. I don’t really know him, do I? I had taken some of his business cards to hand out at work. He does some carpentry stuff. He texted today that he was a bit uneasy at my handing out the cards since I don’t really know him yet. I said I’d wait but the fact that he’s uneasy about it means he is probably responsible and detailed person. He said he liked my response very much.

We texted a bit this evening. It was okay. Not exceptional. We don’t truly mesh. But he’s interesting.

Thursday: The Tantric Man

I canceled. I was so tired and had a headache. I am reading “Pussy: A Reclamation” and it is literally why I canceled. She just was not feeling it tonight. I honored her, canceled, and took a three hour nap.

Heading off to sleeps now. I have only one date set up and that is Tantric Man rescheduled for next Thursday.

Kisses darlings.

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