Today I want this. Tomorrow I want that. It’s good I’m single.Wednesday, 5:30 p.m.
So I keep thinking I’m gonna calm down on this dating thing and then I have a “free moment” (which really isn’t free I should be doing adulty things like DoorDash to earn more money or cleaning) and I schedule dates.
Monday: The Poet.
Our history is a happy hour meet-up then after many texts and annoyances finally another date that included drinks and apps and a booty call, and finally a Christmas Eve morning booty call. I was very ready to see him again as he has been very fun in bed and very chill with no drama in life. We are both very busy people and don’t text until we are trying to see each other.
He’s not a great communicator over text. I missed a Sunday morning booty call because he didn’t pull the trigger. He texted, “Wake up” at 9:30 a.m. I was still sleeping because I had stayed up so late the night before, not out shaking my booty, just in reading and writing lol. I responded with a very sexy, “Yah” and then we had a convo where I thought I made it clear I’d like him to come down but that he was concerned about the roads. Oh well.
We got together Monday instead. He got here, we made small talk for approximately three minutes and got busy. He is just a very attentive lover. He doesn’t ask for anything you guys. I’m not complaining. He loves to pleasure me with his tongue and does it well and prolonged. In the past I could not relax and enjoy this. I worried about everything. Was I “normal,” did everything look and erm smell okay, etc. I take care to be ready for my dates and then I try to relax. I’m the most relaxed with him in this area for some reason. I think it’s because he really likes it and is doing it because he does, not so I will reciprocate. In fact he hasn’t wanted me to yet. Then when I can barely stand it anymore we have this luscious missionary-style sex, and it’s just so good. I don’t get it either. Do I react like I did with Cranky Narcissist? Goddamnit no. I still haven’t gotten to that place with anyone unfortunately. If I could just visit CN for that and nothing else… I’m not asking though. I don’t want to see him.
So missionary-style. It’s lovely because I feel properly fucked and I also get to touch his head, biceps, back and butt. It’s very very sensual.
Unfortunately the tongue portion perhaps lasted a bit too long which I didn’t realize until 24 hours later. In the past I would have just dealt with it and been shy. Not now. I texted him last night, “While I wholly enjoyed it at the time that I’m feeling some discomfort in the clitoral region from the vociferousness of the oral part of our fun. Might need a bit less pressure.”
He sent a thumbs up lol.
Wednesday: The Yogi
I went on a first date with him last Wednesday. I had fun and thought about that passion on the sidewalk many times over the last week. I texted him Monday to see if he’d like to come over for wine and talk and kissing. He said he had a lot going on emotionally. I had no idea how to respond to that. It wasn’t a no; it wasn’t a yes. I made a comment of some sort and then asked how I could help to which he replied I could do nothing, that people could not be rescued. I was at a loss again and just said I wasn’t trying to rescue him and he said good. Gracious me. What to do with all that. That is too much. I texted Tuesday and took back the invite although he probably wasn’t coming. I said I needed to study and I did. I sent him my counselor’s number and email because she is awesome. He said, “Practice good self care and try to relish the experience of your schedule. We can talk soon.”
Okay see that’s cool. I will meet him again if he asks and I’m free but I’m not asking again.
Thursday: Tantric Man
He canceled because he’s sick. We’ve had a time getting together. I was sick and had to cancel the last two or three meetings. I was not sorry though because as I said above I need some healing time down there from my Monday shenanigans with The Poet.
Thursday: OkCupid Man
So I’ve been talking to a new guy a tiny bit that I added from OkCupid. I don’t even have a name for him yet. I matched with him because he’s a fellow liberal and hater of Trump and he has a cute dimple. So should I call him Dimples? No. I hate that. He’s OkCupid for now. I’m having a Chicken Sammy with him tomorrow night for our first meetup.
Friday: The DJ
We are going out for a luscious dinner. He said to wear cute shoes. 😀
I haven’t written about this but we’ve talked on the phone quite a bit over the last few weeks. I called him last night in fact to talk through a bit of a family crisis and he was wonderful. As I had sensed when I first met him, he is a good friend. What I sensed was a great listener, a wisdom of people, and someone who seems to really get who I am.
He will not be friend-zoned as has been mentioned in several posts. He has specifically said that he can’t be around me and not want sex so we won’t be seeing each other if we aren’t physical. My planner side gets in the way a bit because if someone is going to never speak to me again if we aren’t having sex and if I don’t want to drop everyone right now to just be with him then what are we? And does it even need to be defined? And perhaps will it change one way or the other? So many questions.
What I’m proceeding with is that right now we are good for each other, enjoying each other and tomorrow be hanged. There’s nothing to stress about, I don’t think.
The only other date so far is Tantric Man rescheduled for next Thursday. However I have two freelance articles, a journal, a quiz, a chapter to read, a show to write, and I really should do some movement like yoga and stuffs. I’m going to hang with friends Sunday. Life is full. Possibly too full.
I’ll write a post after I meet Dimples, er I mean OkCupid tomorrow night!
p.s. I deleted OkCupid. It was annoying. I didn’t like the app. I didn’t like that it said I had 312+ likes but I couldn’t see them unless I paid $20. I didn’t like that I swiped left on over 100 people on Monday because none of them look interesting. Now I think there were a few interesting people I had matched with who I had not introduced myself to yet but they hadn’t to me either. I sent probably ten introductions that weren’t returned. We matched and I started a convo and they just were blah or didn’t respond. Eh. I have too much going on to care about that right now. Also there’s the DJ, Tantric Man and the Poet. I mean that’s a lot for anyone.
Okay goodnight dear readers.