The Super Bowl

Some of the weirdest things will just mess you up when you’re single.

Sunday, 6:00 p.m.

So this has been my first football season to be single. I’ve watched games the last six years with Hoppy. Before that I didn’t watch much honestly. I did other things and I didn’t want to hang out with the Hillbilly anyway.

So this has been a thing for me this year. I didn’t have access to games on my home tv. I spent several games at home doing homework or writing, just feeling sad to hear people cheering at a nearby bar. I did finally get courage to go to a bar by myself and I’ve met my gay bestie out at bars to watch the last few weeks of games. I didn’t ask anyone if I could come watch with them but no one asked me to hang out either. My daughter says everyone has their traditions already set and they probably don’t think I watch. Well I only watch the home team, the Chiefs. I don’t care about any other team.

So I’ve been kinda sad over the season to be by myself or miss some games. And unsure of what to do. I don’t like to invite myself to join people as I feel like if they wanted me there they would’ve asked. Everyone knows I’m single and I’m newish to this city. So…

Enter the Super Bowl. It’s been an even bigger thing. I’ve cried about it two or three times. I know. Kind of crazy. But it’s hard.

No one invited me to hang.

I called my daughter yesterday in tears about it, unsure of what to do.

I even reached out to two of my milennial friends to see if they were going out, a roundabout way of saying hey I don’t have plans. One said no and didn’t invite me. She’s posted today and is home watching with her roommate. Okay thanks. The other said she could come pre-game with me so we did. And it was nice. We went to a dive bar and had a drink and talked then she went to her mom’s. I had three options at that point. The Smartass had invited me over on our date Friday. I was unsure about this as I’d just met him. A woman I just met today at my bookclub invited me over to her friend’s house. Or I could watch at home.

I hit up the Smartass. He said it would be great. Then he said he had no food or alcohol. Okayyyy. Lie. Just say you aren’t prepared to host me. I took him at his word and was figuring out food and beverage. It took an hour and several texts for him to finally admit he didn’t want me there. I had to say look just tell me. He said he’d rather not and it had been 50 years. What the fuck. Okay you invited me first of all. Secondly if you changed your mind man up and say so rather than dicking me around. He later said sorry for being wishy-washy. I unmatched on Tinder and am probably done with him. Fuck it.

Then I hit up the new friend who was going to someone’s house I didn’t know. She was asking them but I realized I had it on my own tv and that I had a rager of a headache. She was unsure anyway so it was fine.

I’m home by myself watching and it’s okay.

I’m okay.

The Smartass messed up big time and I’m most likely done with him. The Italian had mentioned it last week but has said nothing. The DJ is at the game.

I made yummy foods and am writing and watching the game.

I think I’m okay. Right now I am anyway.

It’s something to figure out by next season. I will.

On a side note, one of my 2020 challenges was to form a tribe of women. Our first meeting was today and it was awesome. The openness and authenticity was wonderful. We need each other. I will keep you posted on the Tribe!

Okay gonna watch the game now. Go Chiefs!

Postscript: I’m glad I stayed home to watch it. I would have had trouble getting back to my place after the game. When it was over I ran out into the streets to celebrate with my city so I had the best of all worlds, a drink before at a bar with a friend in the shenanigans, wandering the streets to feel the excitement and then peacefulness and my own food and water and Tylenol for the headache I acquired from that bit of revelry, then to be able to watch the celebration in the middle of it was a once in a lifetime experience. I bought a champions shirt from a man on the sidewalk lol.

I’m not going to see Smartass though as I was going to drive there AND bring food and he didn’t want me to come. This is very telling; if he had any sense we might be a couple I think he’d have had me out. I was going to ignore some very huge differences to spend some time with him.

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

4 thoughts on “The Super Bowl

  1. You are inspiring. I’m going through something that has me feeling all sorry pity party for myself and here you are all authentic and truthful and strong and vulnerable all at the same time and this inspires me.

    I hope your team wins.

    Liked by 1 person

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