Throwing a message in a bottle…

I’m just gonna be myself. They’ll like it or they won’t.

Monday, 6:30 p.m.

And I got a response…

So… this weird thing has been sort of happening and I want to tell you about it. I happened on a dating blog by a man (in an interesting manner which I will reveal at some later point when I feel like all of you knowing who he is). He only writes once a month. I think he’s busy lol. His latest post was about taking his daughter to college. He was authentic and open and vulnerable darlings. I really liked it.

I saw his bio on the side and almost fell off my chair. He has a background in education, is a writer and is in marketing. My background exactly!

My curiosity was peaked. His photo was in the corner of the blog looking fairly damn cute. A great smile, a dimple, just sexy AF to me. Maybe not to you; so what? This is for me. AND close to my age.

Now I’m really curious. So I read a year of his blog. That’s only 10 posts remember.

And damn it if I don’t really like this guy. (I mean I may have sort of fallen a little in love with him through those words. Sigh.)

So I throw a message in a bottle and toss it in the ocean- email speaking that is.

Yes I emailed him.

I titled it: “So this is odd but what’s new”

Here’s what I said:


I found your blog today. Accidentally really. {…}

So just throwing it out there that I’d love to have a drink with you if you are ever in the area. Why? Well from looking at your bio we have so much in common it’s a bit nuts, backgrounds in education, marketing and writing. That interested me but I wouldn’t have reached out if you didn’t sound fun as fuck and also intelligent and maybe even awesome.

Who the fuck am I? I’m a high school English teacher with a potty mouth who writes, has three adult children, is getting her second master’s, this one in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I’ve been single almost a year now. I’m not going to write a book here because the chance of you writing back is fairly nil and it’s fucking 11 p.m. and I need to teach 125 14-year-olds Fahrenheit 451 tomorrow during a Super Bowl week god help me.

My instagram is —— and my Twitter is — but I don’t use it much

Here’s to nuttin lol.”

Then I sent that email on January 28. A message came back and said he was out of the office for two weeks. Well lol. I forgot about it.

February 4: I got back to my place from dranking with my gay bestie and I needed to calm the fuck down to sleep.

I open up the IG and guess who fucking friended me on Instagram.

He of the email, of the dating blog. Of the cute dimpled face.


I accepted the request then looked at his story where he is on an epic vacation in fucking Thailand. He posts pictures of luscious food but there’s also a few of him. I like all of things I see.

I respond on a photo, “What adventures!!”

He fucking responds in that moment. OMG

“Yes! Sorry I haven’t replied- been on the go. Congrats on your Chiefs.”

I say a dumb thing about how he got that news in Thailand. Ugh. Then I say another dumb thing, “I’m tipsy right now because the parade is tomorrow and I’m off work so my gay bestie and I went drinking tonight.”

Then repeated myself- oh my god. Why am I texting this dream guy when I’m drunk? Because I’m drunk and stupid. LOL.

He says, “It’s late there! We caught the crazy end of the game while packing up in Phuket.”

I respond, “It is 2 a.m. lol. It was an amazing game. I sort of can’t believe you actually read my email lol.”

No one can ever say I’m cool.

“It was a stab in the dark,” I add. Then, “I follow my instincts now and just wrote it.”

YOU GUYS HE SAID, “Glad you did.”


I stupidly say, “Fairly shocked lol.” then “Super jealous of this trip you are on.”

That was Tuesday night at 2 a.m.

Then Wednesday at 10:39 p..m. I message, “I can almost feel that warm breeze in your vid. Almost. I’t like fucking 26 degrees here lol. Enjoy. I’ve put Thailand on my travel list now.”

He: “As you should.”

We messaged a tiny bit throughout that week and then he would be flying back to his city, which is 8-10 hours from my city. I messaged to have a safe trip and we’d talk after he dug out from vacation.

February 15: I waited a week. I then messaged asking if he thought it would be weird to have a “virtual date” on Messenger or something.

February 17: He responded saying it sounded fun. I message that Thursday or Friday work for me.

He doesn’t respond…

I ask advice from everyone. What up with this guy? I mean a week?! I have a full time job, go to full-time grad classes and am busy AF with friends and writing and dates and I respond within 24 always, usually within the hour. I just have trouble believing he couldn’t respond and let’s be honest. He could have. He just didn’t.

February 24: I come up with what I think is a hilarious idea. I see he’s on IG and send this:

“As a writer I have an innate curiousity so instead of doing the normal thing and just dropping the idea of talking to you I have devised the activity below. All you need to do is message back the number of the message(s) that ring true for why you haven’t responded. 😂

#1. I’ve been busy. 👀

#2. I’m not interested. 🤮

#3. You seem weird. 🤔

#4. I’m in a relationship. 😏

#5. I apologize for my heinous lack of attention to this matter and would like to make it up to you by ___________________. 😍

#6. Other: _______________________🤪”

Come on readers. I hope you are laughing your asses off cuz that is some funny shit right there.

He responds immediately. Now remember it’s been a week since he said it would be fun to do the virtual date.

“Hi! So sorry. It’s a combination of #1 (Sooo busy afternoon, my trip + your message dipped down in my Insta inbox and I kept meaning to find it and reply) and a soft #2 in that we’re geographically incompatible, so it wasn’t a priority amidst my crazy two weeks of digging out.

That said? Why don’t you text me at —– and I promise to be a better correspondent.”


So we texted once Monday/Tuesday of last week. When I said I hoped it made him laugh or at least smile, he said he did laugh and that my use of emojis was 💯.

Then Wednesday I lost my mind a bit. See here’s the deal. I’ve read his blogs from the last 10 years and feel I know him a bit but he doesn’t know me at all so I thought I should write him something.

So I did. LOL

I wrote this little piece about how his blog was a batarang from the interwebs, and went into how we’ve been throwing it back and forth. I also said why I thought we’d be so compatible. And that you don’t ignore this kinda stuff. Then I said I better get to sleep. Then I came back and said, “One more thing. Even if you say naahhh because of geographic incompatibility, I’m still glad to know there are men like you out there and I will find my person one of these days.”

Yes that’s the crazy shit I sent a man who doesn’t know me from any other crazy lady.


I tell my friends what I did and they laugh their asses off and tell me to forget about him now. I fucked it up royally. I delete his number and unfollow on IG last Friday. I did memorize his area code; I ain’t dumb.

Five entire days go by. I have given up but am hopeful as one friend said that in seven months he’d think oh yeah what about that one chick and hit me up again.

THEN Monday evening I’d just got back in the city from a whirlwind trip to get my daughter a passport in two weeks (yessss) and a text pops in without a name, just the number, and I think, “WTF is this… Oh my god!!” I tell my daughter and she’s laughing at me.

He said, “Hey! You are very funny and smart – I appreciate that. And I love how forward and communicative you are. What do you propose?”

Shut the front door folks.

He thinks I’m funny, smart (well I am) and likes the forwardness. Whuhhhhhh….

I wait a whole hour and a half to text back.

Hey it was hard. Then I say that texting would be cool but I think we should have a virtual face to face as it would be a better way to get to know one another.

Four hours later I say, “Please take this in the manner it is sent, which is with a smile, you do win the Slowest Texter Award 🐌 😂.”

He says, “Sorry, lots going on over here. Maybe we can do a 6 pm Facetime soon?” I say yes and we choose Sunday beeshes.

Yesterday he posted a photo and just looked so cute so I put a 💯 on it.

I know I know. I’m just not playing it cool whatsoever. THEN I texted him that I did and said, “I have to say you are looking very fine today! Lol hope it’s a good day.”

He texted, “Aww thank you” later that night.

Lord Jesus. I must calm myself.

It’s hard.

I’m dedicated to not texting again in hopes that he will text me in the next few days.

Of course I will write about the virtual date.

In the meantime, the Hot Chef and the DJ have been texting a bit, the Poet is in the wings, and I’m talking to one guy on Hinge and three-ish on Tinder. Yes the same folk I’ve been texting for about two weeks but I was out of town last weekend. Curious to see if anyone asks me out for this weekend.


Sorry for the long post.

Carry on.



Photo by Snapwire on

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