I’ve been alone all day and I’m fine.Saturday
I went a little hard last night out with friends and paid for it today. Had to cancel The Hot Chef as I’m not feeling it. In fact I feel like I’m getting ANOTHER cold. If so this will be one per month so far. God I hope not.
Friyay night with Youngsters
Last night was fun though. Thursday I texted a millennial friend of mine; she’s only 24 or something. This is funny because she is younger than both my daughters but we work together and it feels just like we are peers. I invited her to go to First Friday and she said she’d come in, maybe invite another friend. There ended up being seven of us, they in their 20’s then there’s me at fucking 55 lol. But I’ve dropped worrying about that kind of shit a long time ago because I’m open to all kinds of people and actually relate very well to young people, much more than I do people my own age usually. We had happy hour at a place I’ve never been (I picked it and made reservations). It was really fun. Everyone included everyone. I felt more included than have at other functions with people my age that I actually knew lol. So weird. After happy hour we went to a bar with games and played video games and Jenga. It was so fun. I drank a little too much, should not have had that last whiskey diet or perhaps eaten a little more or had more water- probably all three of those!
The Hot Chef has been very sweet on text this week. He calls me lover; we had said maybe tonight. He texted this morning saying he’d like to see me naked in his arms today. So would I but I gotta take care of myself. Boo for being an adult. We are hoping for tomorrow or Monday.
I have a first date with The Photographer on Wednesday. He’s been really great on text as I’ve written. I’m looking forward to the date.
The DJ is quiet AF. He texted Sunday when I was headed out of town and I made him laugh with my text. The Poet is busy I’m assuming.
The Liberal Marine
I’ve been wondering how The Liberal Marine is doing. I wasn’t going to text him again since the last time I felt dumb. I haven’t seen this guy since fucking November and he’s still in my head. But I don’t want to be with him. But damn I do like that guy. Ugh. I texted Thursday night asking how he was, “Damnit how are you?” is how I put it. Nothing. So I said, “Really though how are you doing?” He texted back Friday morning, “Hey beautiful. I’m good. How are you?” He knows damn well I want to know about his health. His dad is going through chemo which I didn’t know so he’s been going there to help. We talked for a bit and I left him hanging when he said something about moving after he retires in response to me moving to Seattle in a few years. I didn’t know what to do with it.
I was just texting The Writer. It feels like to me he’s a bit rude? I haven’t texted since Tuesday. He’s said nothing to me although he did watch my IG story this morning. I just texted that the book he’s reading sounded good (it was on his story) and did tomorrow still work for the Facetime or would he rather do it tonight? He said he’d forgotten he had a dinner and show tomorrow night (I wonder if he’d forgotten to tell me or was just gonna blow me off?) and tonight he’s on the way out then asked if we could do the call earlier tomorrow. I said sure what worked for him. He said he’d text in the morning when he figured out his day.
I’ve had guys say stuff like this before. It feels like everything else comes before me but I also know that I’m unusual to always try to put people first when they reach out to me. Now he doesn’t even know me but isn’t there just common courtesy? He said Monday I seem fun and smart and open and communicative and he likes that so it’s not like he’s not interested or he’d have dropped this whole thing easily by now. I think his life may be even busier than mine which is crazy. It makes me wonder if he has room in his life for a relationship.
Anyway back to the texts. I gave him my avail tomorrow and he said okay. Then I said my daughter lives in Seattle and when she moved there it took us a bit to figure out phone call times but we did. He said nothing. I told him to have fun tonight and that I looked forward to the call tomorrow and hoped he was but that I knew I knew more about him than he does me from his writing. Nothing. I just looked at the texts again. He did say he was on his way out. But how hard is it really to text he was looking forward to it or tell me to fuck off or something. Sighhh…
Here’s a crazy thing I’ll throw out there. I have Spring Break in a week and was headed to Seattle after Cabo but am thinking that is not the wisest with the Coronavirus epidemic. I’d still go but my work could quarantine me for visiting Seattle and I can’t afford that. It’s not worth the risk for three days when my daughter won’t even be there. So I was thinking… I could go to The Writer’s city on that plane ticket. Not stay with him of course, just do my thing but at least maybe go to dinner and meet IRL. I’m gonna see how the phone call goes tomorrow. I have a friend in that city I could hang out with too. I’ve told no one this as it popped in my head last night and I know everyone will say I’m crazy.
Sure as hell ain’t the first time.
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com