Second-guessing is the worst

Gotta trust myself.

Saturday, 7:00 p.m.

It’s a gorgeous Saturday here today. Out my window I can see people taking photos in front of an icon in my city. It makes me sad because I know I’m going to miss this people-watching.

I left Hoppy almost a year ago, which means my lease is coming up. I asked my gay bestie to get a house with me but he decided he wanted to stay where he was. Of course that’s fine and maybe for the best. I have gotten used to no tv and I know he likes it lol.

So I started looking at places just for me. The third place I saw I signed a lease for. Now I’m scared. I’m scared because I’m looking at all the reasons I like the place I’m in now. And thinking about moving all this stuff. And I’m losing 200 square feet. For the same rent.

I know. I sound like an utter idiot and that’s what is giving me pause.

Here’s why I did it. And I think it will be okay really. I would like to not stress out about this for the next month and a half.

The two most annoying things about living here will be changed: the noise and trying to get into the one washer for 20 apartments, yes 20. People don’t seem to set a timer to get their clothes out. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve traipsed down the hall and around two corners with my laundry only to shlep it all back. One night last week I tried three times and gave up. I had to wait a few days until I didn’t have class. I’ve even had to move someone’s laundry out of the washer into the dryer and then back into the washer just to get it done. It’s fucking annoying as all hell.

I have a washer/dryer of my very own in the new place. This is huge lol. But not fun. But a better quality of life.

Now for the noise. This is such a noisy place to live. Busses roll to a stop beneath my bedroom window all hours because I’m one half-block from the major bus stop in downtown. I’m on the second floor so I can hear those brakes grind. This street is a main cross street since it is not one-way. Loud motorcycles and cars travel it all night. This is a street where many homeless hang out because there is food , transportation, and shelter nearby. They need a place but many are mentally ill or high and literally yell their heads off at any time of the day or night. I’m across from the dog pooping area for the block so there’s barking and sometimes howling. Noisy AF. The guy upstairs gets home from work at 3:30 a.m. and dances around or something- the fuck he’s doing. He stomps around for a bit almost every night.

The new place is so quiet. The street is a side street that isn’t used that much and the loft is not facing the street. A concern is a bar very close that has live music but that’s on the weekends and sort of enjoyable. Also I can become a regular as it is right across the street and use their sidewalk tables and their deck.

Now for the fun stuff… it’s an architectural gem truly. I’ve admired this building since I’ve been coming to this city over ten years ago. It’s my second favorite building in the city. My favorite one has offices in it and isn’t residential. It was built in 1887 and it’s fucking incredible really. My closet is a fucking bank vault.

I get an upgrade in design with an antique nonworking fireplace, the bank vault door for the closet, wooden window casings wide enough to sit in, and granite counter tops.

It’s a studio but I don’t actually mind that as I don’t wish to own more than one tv and now I can watch tv in bed!

I really wanted to gain a rooftop deck but I’m close to two, a library and a dive bar, so I will take advantage of those.

I lose a tub which kills me. I love baths. I didn’t think of it until after I signed the lease.

The gym is only one floor below me; no excuses not to go there.

Okay thanks for listening. I feel better about it. 😀

Photo by Сергей Гладкий on

3 thoughts on “Second-guessing is the worst

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s