When it feels so right, go with it. Until it doesn’t.Hopefully I’m wise?
He came over for the first time. I went out to meet him and walked him up to my place feeling kind of nervous. It had been so great on our first date, was that real? We had face-timed twice the day after our first date, once in the bathtub! So fun.
When he got in my place he loved it and said it was cozy, key word for small lol. We both wanted to jump each other but were sort of stepping around it. I finally asked if he wanted to eat or cuddle or talk. He said I should choose but I wouldn’t so he picked cuddle which ended up being crazy good sex. I mean folks, so much fun. Then we actually cuddle up and have the best pillow talk.
I made dinner (and it turned out perfect!), salmon and asparagus and deviled eggs. I know, deviled eggs are what people have for picnics or holidays. Not me. I eat those fuckers all the time, year-round. Love them. He thought the deviled eggs were funny but ate four of them. He ate everything even the skin on the salmon which he at first thought was icky then he tried it and it was crunchy goodness. We sat at the table and talked after dinner. I’ve not done that with a date but I usually don’t have people over for dinner. I have talked mucho mucho with The DJ of course out at the best dinners I’ve ever had. We had great convos.
I cleaned up the dishes a little and then I believe we headed back to the bedroom lol. Then all of a sudden it had been four hours or more and he needed to go home.
I’m going to give this a go. After he left, I did several unprecedented things.
I canceled a walk, a first date with the cute photographer I mentioned once I think.
I texted The Poet and The DJ (hello you two luscious sweet men) to let them know I was gonna give this a solid try.
I hadn’t seen DJ in five weeks, twas Valentine’s weekend and that wonderful French restaurant. Ah I will miss you DJ. We had fun. I told The DJ and offered to call and talk but he said, “I’m good dear. Very happy for you!” Then we had a short convo about current life situations and left it hanging.
The Poet had been checking in on me often over the last several weeks. I hadn’t seen him in quite awhile either, almost a month. First he wished me all the happiness then said he was really hoping to have me one more time before we called it quits and that we never expect the last time to be the last time. I told him it was very unexpected and could be long-term and that I had wanted to see him again and “if it crashes and burns” that he’d be my first text. Then here’s the nicest thing ever. He said, “We all deserve something sure and long term and fulfilling. Go. Be. Love. You ravishingly wolf-woman you.” Isn’t that so incredible?
Then I deleted Tinder, not on hold, fully deleted. I had four matches that were still talking to me. I didn’t tell them, just deleted it. I hope that’s not asshole-ish.
So I’m untethered. I haven’t told The Hot Chef but he’s been incommunicado. I’m thinking he will hit me up at some point and I’ll tell him then. He may never and that’s okay.
Why did I do all this after two dates? Because it seems like he really could be something serious (perhaps I’m wrong but no harm no foul) and I’m ready to see.
If not, I will be fine. I know I will be fine. I may get a broken heart but I will be fine. It’s a good feeling. I am strong and good on my own but I’d like a companion, not to live with, not now, but someday.
For now I’m going to get to know this guy and just see.
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