Visceral Anger for Tantric Man & Joy from The DJ

Visceral Anger

First the anger because it is still burning in my soul at this very minute. I haven’t seen Tantric Man since early December (In November he used the back door and it didn’t go well). 3 1/2 months. In those months we have not contacted each other. My schedule was crazy with two grad classes but let’s be honest here. I’ve been dating other people this whole time so it was a choice not to see Tantric. The cost versus benefits was too high. He was a five-hour proposition while I got so much more fun out of The Poet (who is a better person too) and The DJ (who had better conversation) so I dropped him.

I got this email a few moments ago from him. Oh my. I’ve muted him now. You guys it was a whole letter about how awesome it was that he and his family are quarantining by a beach and how they all have their jobs and they work and then hang out at their pool. I mean are you fucking kidding me? Why would you sent that except to lord it over people that you are rich and so lucky. Throughout the post he’d make little paragraphs about how past decisions had served them so well. Well well darlin bully for you. Now let me go figure out how to pay my daughter who lost her job’s rent. Ughhhhhh.

Oh one more thing. I was just thinking and looked at the email. He clicked to send it to me personally. It’s a small group of people. So even though we haven’t spoken for 3 1/2 months he wanted to wave this around in my face. Why? There’s no good purpose. I’m not wondering how he is in these times. He has so much money. I knew he was fine. Well in fact he had not entered my mind whatsoever. So I feel it is like a little stab or sales pitch? Who fucking knows? Fuck you Tantric Man.

Whew. Okay. Breathe. Breathe.


The Podcast & The DJ

I was on a podcast last night. I’m crossing a bunch of boundaries here that I had created to keep my job but I went on the podcast and hello to new readers who came here from it. It was fun doing it. The DJ led it; it’s the 75th episode. I know. Cool as shit right? Damn I was watching him set all the stuff up before we started and felt how much I will miss him. Loyal readers know I had our first real date he said back in November, we’ve had so much fun, had so many conversations about him saying that we were friends only as long as we were fucking. He’d asked me to do the podcast to wrap things up as I’m been discussed as Mystery Girl on there since November when he found the blog and gave it to his friends. As I wrote earlier this week I’m not seeing anyone but The Masseuse to give it a go. So on the podcast I announced that lol. Everyone on the podcast played a Truth or Drink game. When The DJ gave a go at dirty talk, I told everyone I’d heard ALL those things from the horse’s mouth and they died laughing. It was a blast. At the end The DJ asked if anyone had any last things to say and I thought, fuck it. I wanted to know if The DJ was gonna stick with his resolve to not be friends. I was hopeful he wasn’t but totally understood if he was. I can’t remember how I said it now but asked if we were friends now, or that we weren’t. I’ll update after the podcast comes out. He laughed and said I could call him at 2 a.m. if I needed which is what I had said in the original conversation. Then his friend made fun of me but that’s okay. I’m glad I can still reach out to The DJ. He is a kickass person.

Here’s the link!

Episode 75

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