Exes reaching out right and left

Some thirsty men reaching out, for different things though.

Tuesday, 5:30 p.m.

In my phone right now all in a little row, The Hot Chef, the Liberal Marine, Hoppy, and The DJ. Texts in the last few days.

The Hot Chef

He texted Sunday evening. The opening volley was good, “DO NOT kill my sexy fringe character.”

{Please God life will be back to normal in late July? Not because of Fringe Fest but because I can’t be a hermit that long. No one can! I’m supposed to have a one-woman Fringe show called “The Year of Sluttery” and The Hot Chef wants to come to it and wear a sign proclaiming that he is The Hot Chef.}

I said I wouldn’t kill his character.

He was on fiyah with funny texts and vollied next with, “Sweet. Wanna ‘make out?'” hhahahahaaahah

This is how he first texted me back in January. Quick recap: We matched on Tinder last spring but I had the summer relationship with Cranky then we matched again in the fall and almost had a date. Then in January he texted he’d been thinking about me and then said, “Wanna make-out?” and I knew he had me mixed up with someone else. I said maybe and here’s the whole story of that night. Then I saw him one more time. That’s all I’ve seen him.

I said it was the best story ever, the “wanna make-out” story.

He sent a pic of Shakespeare winking and then asked, “Is he fucking up yet?”

LOL I just realized that I didn’t understand what he meant at all; in fact I thought he was high as shit. He was asking if The Masseuse was fucking up yet. Loloolololol. I thought he meant was Shakespeare up. Then he said haha! with a winky face. I laughed with no comment.

He sent a Ferris Bueller gif,”Hey batter, batter, batter, swing batter.”

LOL I had no idea what was happening. Now I see he was making a swing for me. Crack me up. I laughed and asked how he was.

He sent a Snow White gif clapping her hands in a padded room. I laughed and asked if he were still working to which he responded, “Slowly letting the labyrinth seep into my bloody vascular computer.”

yeah. I said, “Damn.” as I was unsure of what was happening.

He sent a gif of a teddy bear rubbing it’s face like what the fuck is up right now. I said, “It sucks. I hate it.”

He said, “My verse?”

Wow this is the weirdest conversation isn’t it? Mix ups all over the place. I said no, the quarantine sucked and that his verse was awesome.

He asked if we could have mormon sex with the sheet in between us. Or use body condoms like in Naked Gun.

I queried if people have sex with a sheet. He said, “Somebody does. Maybe like puritans or a sect that is freakishly hanging onto life in the 1830s?” I had to bahaaa at that and research. I then told him it was Hasidic Jews.

He’s funny you guys. He responds, “Ahhh Jaa!” I told him, “Of all my former fuckboys I figured you’d be getting the most sex even now.”

He responded, “I could chase you around like a dick ghost.”

“At this point I’m still with that guy that I told you about. If it ends, I will hit you UP.

No dick ghosts.”

He said, “I would then… possess you. With my penis.” I agreed. He said dick ghost would moan like a mother fucker. I agreed again. He send a ghost and an eggplant emoji and said, “I have given you this image. You are more than welcome.”

I thanked him and he said it was absolutely no problem whatsoever. LOL. I thanked him again for making me laugh and he said you’re welcome and that he was off to try and suck his own dick. Oh my.

Liberal Marine

He texted me Monday. Yep I haven’t heard from him since January.

“Are you surviving this apocalyptic bullshit”

I said, “Isn’t it awful? I’m surviving yes. How are you doing?”

“So far ok. As long as building apartment buildings is considered essential I plan on plugging along I guess.”
“How’s your dad?” I asked. “And how’s your health. Take care of yourself. It’s a mixed blessing to work out in the world now. Paycheck versus safety.”

“He’s doing chemo and I’m hopeful,” he said. “I’m back at 100%. Most people with kids and family that are high risk are staying home.”

“Glad to hear from you and glad you are feeling good! I’ll send positive vibes out for your dad. Where are you building?”

Guys I was out for a run while this texting was going on. He was one mile from me. So I ran down there for shits and grins.

I sent a photo of the building when I got there and told him to wave to me if that was it. It was. He actually came out and gave me a side hug and then went back in. It was odd. But sort of nice. I don’t want to date him again. I really liked him for a bit and missed him but I realized I’m over it when he came out. I do want the best for him though.


Our house is finally selling that we bought together, a dream house of mine where all the dreams died lol. I have to go there this weekend and spend a bunch of hours packing up stuff that I left there which will suck honestly. I left Hoppy almost exactly one year ago. If you end the Year of Sluttery with the one-year anniversary of leaving him and moving out on my own (which I did start dating immediately as I had cried for a solid month everyday and was ready to move on already) then I have two weeks left. I subtracted the summer with Cranky and that’s how I officially have three months left. Covid has effectively killed the next few months so perhaps I will extend it for pandemic purposes also. Anyway back to Hoppy. He’s been texting about the house selling but we did talk about our lives on one phone call. You guys, his family was always such a bone of contention. First of all they acted like I wasn’t good enough for him. Then they were just assholes really, each in their different ways but assholes very much so. Whereas I can love my family and also admit if they are being assholes, Hoppy could not. He could not stand up to them at all. So it was awful when we had to deal with them, mostly holidays. He actually said the other day that his mom was stupid. I couldn’t believe it. Then he mentioned how his sister wanted him to live by her and he didn’t want to and everyone was all in an uproar and how dumb it all was. IF he is communicating his thoughts to them that would have helped us for sure.

Here’s another thing that would have helped:

Hoppy mentioned he hadn’t drank in several weeks. I haven’t asked if he still isn’t drinking when I go over to pack and won’t. For his sake I hope he got control of it but I’m not going back to him, although I’m glad I had the relationship with him and wish him the very best in health and love. I just don’t want to see it, love that is lol.

The DJ

Oh my. He asked me to be on the podcast again. While we were waiting for the podcast to start I told him he was looking hot. He was! His tattoo was peeking out of his t-shirt where his bicep was stretching the sleeve. I always thought he looked hotter in his t-shirts than he did a suit. Damn he is a likable fellow also.

I will post the podcast below when it comes out. It was about “Can Men and Women Ever Really Be Friends?” He asked me on because this became a topic of this blog when I told him I thought we could be friends for years and he replied, “As long as we are fucking my dear.” Yes awesome right? I didn’t like the way he phrased that at all. We’ve discussed this off and on since he said actually. So this whole podcast is about this topic. I literally cringed at some moments when the other two podcasters really reamed The DJ for some things. Damn. It was fairly insane. Will post as soon as it’s up!

Photo by Harrison Haines on Pexels.com

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