Some flowers in the shit of this time.This week
Daily Sistah Circle UP
One of my goals this year is to form a female tribe. I have now three writing sisters whom I meet with daily. It is simply amazing. I know amazing isn’t a good word but it is. I would never have been able to have this if I were out in my regular job daily but I do have it now. A daily circling up virtually. We center ourselves, talk about where we are, then write and share. It’s been so interesting to me that we’ve cycled together on emotions often. Last week there was a day where we were all so down, just hopeless almost. We cried and wrote and shared and felt better to have each other. Then other days we’ve been just maintaining some sort of stasis. We share all the shit, the joys, the fucking fear we have, death of a beloved cat, considering online dating again, all of it. Nothing is off the table. We listen to each other fully and deeply and validate each other. It’s pure magic I tell ya and I’m so blessed to be a part of it. I will not lose this connection with these sisters ever.
Wine Therapy Group
A way I had planned to form the tribe was through a book club. We met once before the pandemic, or twice. Anyway. I loved the people who showed up and can’t wait to get to know them more. From that book club one of the women has reached out several times and become a friend already. She invited me to her Sunday night wine therapy group and I went last Sunday. I honestly felt a little shy at first but settled in and just told myself to relax and not worry about being liked. Just be a part of the experience. This is from the pandemic too. I have realized that I go balls to the wall on everything and that I can just relax a bit sometimes and let things flow. Calm down honey. (I did this with The Masseuse too I’ve realized.) You guys it was… incredible. These ladies, omg I adore them already. We bonded over our distaste for all things Trump-y including his disciples. We shared stories of love, life and sex and it was a blast. I am invited back! They liked me! LOL. During regular life my ass is in bed on Sundays early to be ready to hit the ground running early Monday. I wouldn’t have been able to go.
A friend had told me about and sent me the link for a virtual storytelling group. I finally was able to go check it out Monday. I zoomed two hours and heard 7-minute stories of childhood memories, high school angst, Vegas shenanigans and a quarantine-motivated experience of helping a neighbor out with $20 cash for his lady friend (you had to be there). After listening I got the courage to be the last teller sharing Bumble Date #1, Einstein. I’ve also added a new friend from chatting after the storytelling was over. We’ve emailed like old school pen pals eight times already. Hey we are writers and extroverts. We have lots of words. Don’t judge.
This group is normally in bars and coffee shops and the like. There would have been no virtual Zoom night and while it’s not even a fraction of the awesomeness of live storytelling it beats the hell out of nothing.
Last but not least, I have had more time to mull who I am and what I want, to stare into the abyss. I’m seeing more clearly some of the decisions I’ve made and why. Many were not based on what was best for me. I am looking for growth in this area. The writer side wants her adventures but they must be good for Scarlett.. and Pussy. It’s a true north change in how I’ve operated. I’ve either put others first, and still am working on that one, or I’ve just sort of flung myself into things to see what happens. While fun, I am realizing I need to focus my energy on what I want out of life and quit dicking around on shit that doesn’t matter. Ha. Dicking. Funny right?
I still think sex is important and that will always be a great focus of energy please god.
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