Recalibration Week Two

I do not remotely look like this but I like this chair and her expression. And she’s outside.

I’m getting some space and learning some things about myself.

this week

I felt less needy this week, less dependent on texts or messages from men for excitement and fun. One reason is I moved and have been busy as all hell. Another is that earlier in the week I heard from The Masseuse, Tantric Man, The Poet (I reached out first), The DJ, The Hot Chef, The Cop, and The Forklift Driver. I mean that’s a lot of attention folks. It was just some texts.

I haven’t seen any men in the flesh.

If I had I would jump on them post-haste.

Jesus I had to go to the grocery store today and I swear to God I was just lusting after three different dudes I saw in there and then one guy on a motorcycle and one on the sidewalk. I mean all out just staring at their butts you guys.

I’m horny as all hell folks.

I’m happy though.

I love my new house and am already making it a home that shows who I am and feels comfortable to me. I’m either on the deck or the front porch several times a day; in fact right now I’m writing on the front porch, a Corona (beer hello) getting warm next to me, as the sun goes down. The birds are chirping. It’s wonderful.

I’m meeting my inner circle of goddesses daily and getting so much out of it. We are doing a study on visioning that is helping with recalibration. I’m getting so close with them and it’s something I didn’t go get. It literally just fell in my lap.

My gay bestie helped me move and has said he will come over for dinner and porch time next week. I reached out to another gay bestie from years ago and he said we could hang out sometime also. I’m meeting my wine therapy group tomorrow night, a brand-new group of female friends.

I set some boundaries with a family member that needed to happen. It has given me less stress and much more happiness to be around them.

I have one assignment left for grad school and am done with it so I’ll have free time in the evenings and weekends I didn’t have before.

I started reading “if the Buddha dated” and will be writing about it as I’m going to try it out after May 19, when the no menz is over. It has some ideas the universe has been throwing at me for my next steps in the dating world. The universe has also been using TikTok believe it or not. I swear to god.

Did I just look at my phone and think, “Oh I could call The Masseuse and see how he is.” Yes I did. Did I do it? No, I did not.

Did I think about texting a booty call to The Hot Chef the other day as I finished cleaning my loft? Oh yes I thought about it. A kind of goodbye to that space and all the men I hosted there, some sex on the floor. Did I text? No.

Did I tell The Masseuse, when he texted and asked, that I’d go out with him after May 19? Oh yes I did. But I’m 99.9999999% sure we aren’t meant to be together.

The things I feel so good about right now in men world are two:

-seeing The Poet on May 19 please God.

-the email letter chain I have going with The Forklift Driver. {Update: The Forklift Driver told me last night that he has found someone interesting in his city. While I’m battling some sadness about it and loved the letters and flirting, I’m trying to manage the feelings and just realize it’s not a personal rejection and the ONE is out there somewhere.}

Oh and lusting after all the hotties on TikTok. Damnnnnnn.

Photo by Adrienn on

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