A hodgepodge of things that happened in the last few days…. that flipped my perspective in several ways.Love my readers
The Masseuse Epiphany
A reader emailed me some insights about M. The wild thing is that literally as she was clicking Send on her email a blast in my brain said, “Hellooooo you were the first serious relationship after his wife. Of course he doesn’t know what the fuck he is doing.” I got the email and it’s amazing. I won’t quote it as I didn’t ask permission but she said he wasn’t ready for that relationship, the one we wanted. He’s not. He’s not ready for me. He could be in a year with some counseling and other dates if he’s open and learns some stuff but he may never be either. I can appreciate who he is, admire him but know it would have been a LOT of work to be with him, A LOT. Probably too much. There will be someone for him and for me who will be a better fit. I thought about writing him a letter and I think I will, to say some of these things and maybe help him along his way. For me it will give some closure. He doesn’t have to read does he? He can throw it right in the trash.
Bumble Guy Tinder Slaps Me
So I matched with a guy on Bumble back in March. We messaged for maybe ten days, maybe a week. I went on my trip to Mexico, came back met Masseuse and deleted my apps. No I didn’t say anything to him. He had said we should hang out sometime but we’d never met or even exchanged phone numbers. I see him on Tinder the other day and thought well shit. I swiped right. We matched.
Me: I know…
Me: I went to Mexico, met a guy the day I got back and started dating him, deleted all my apps
He: So you just chose him over me but didn’t say anything (with laughing emoticon)
Me: (feeling super awkward cuz huh?) Sorry about that…
He: (again) So you didn’t think you should talk to me about it and just deleted me (or something like that)…
He: Well I’m going to do that to you then
And then the whole message disappeared because he unmatched from me.
Ummm… was I supposed to tell him I met someone? I could have. I’m used to a week of messages meaning nothing to people. I felt bad for a minute because it would have been easy to tell him that. We hadn’t talked in over a week because I’d been on my trip but I easily could have. Sigh. Yeah I should have.
However I do think matching and then the whole “Now I’m going to do this to you” was immature. If I were in his situation, and I have been, I would have just swiped left but perhaps he thought I had some good reason, like illness or something? LOL I don’t know.
Hot Sex with The Poet
I didn’t make it a month without touching a man. The Poet came over last night. I am not sorry. He is no drama, only joy, as we are FWBs. We had great sex and then talked for over an hour and then he fell asleep and stayed the night. I had said he was welcome to. In normal world we’d have to be at work so early this would never have happened.
Our conversation before sleeping was so much fun. We talked about dating and love. The Poet is in his 30s mind you. He brought up that I’d said us having a relationship was obviously off the table since I’m in a completely different place age-wise. But he said it in a way that sounded almost like he had been open to a relationship with me, which I’d never even thought about because of our age difference. I assumed he was not interested in me that way. And if he wants a family, which I assumed he did. The age is such a barrier for me. It’s over 15 years in age gap. Other than that just from our convos we’d be a great match. But even when considering it this voice says, “Knock knock! Woman your body will start falling apart and his never would. With that age gap… he’d not want you in ten years.” I mean… valid.
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