Yeah recalibration kinda crashed and burned this week. Quarantine and The Masseuse got me allllll kinda cray.Sunday morning
I was close to making a month without a date (2 days within four weeks or six days within the date), Okay? Okay. But then I downloaded Tinder in a weak moment… and then I texted The Poet (that’s never weak, that’s always awesome) and all of a sudden I had three dates set up, then five happened.
I am though, not in the Year of Sluttery anymore or I’m trying not to be. I’m trying to follow a different path of dating people to get to know them. However it’s hard. Dating is fucking hard. Ugh. I have one more date that could be a contender, the Tech Guy, next weekend. If he isn’t a contender for my heart, I swear to God I’m just doing FWBs for what… a year seems long but maybe it isn’t. A year of FWBs? (I have three, maybe four right now) no dating apps, just hanging with them and once again, I’m on repeat aren’t I damn it to hell, once again figure out what I want MY life to be. For the first time since I left Hoppy a year ago I won’t have full-time grad school. I have no excuse to figure my own shit out and get busy living, making friends, publishing, yoga and meditation, camping and hiking. all that. INSTEAD of spending hours dating. Just one more date that I think is set up… the Tech Guy next Saturday.
Tuesday:The Poet (already told ya about that)
Wednesday: Tinder Date #1 (Should have known it wouldn’t be good as his texting skills were boring. He came over and had wine on the front porch. Not even gonna name this guy as I don’t want to see him again.)
Thursday: The Photographer. Oh gracious- more dets in a minute.
Saturday afternoon : Bumble Date 1. (Once again nice guy, boring texter, wouldn’t listen to me talk at all, rambled for three hours. I sat across from him on the porch and wished he’d leave within 15 minutes. I’m not meeting new dates at my house anymore and you all say duhhhhhh.)
Saturday night: Date two with the Photographer
All week: phone calls and texts from the Tech Guy
The Photographer… damn I like him but I don’t want to because of politics (which I didn’t know until he came over). I matched with him in early March. We had a date set up the week before Spring Break and he had to cancel. I texted him while I was on Break then… I told him I was gonna try a relationship with The Masseuse. I’ve been thinking of him and wanted to text then I saw him on Tinder and matched and asked him his phone number again. We talked for one day and he tried to say hey forget it you don’t want to meet! I was like what the hell. Yes I do. You canceled on me. He had forgotten that. So I asked him out and he came over Thursday for a front porch date (Yes I do wonder what my neighbors thought this week as they saw three different men on the porch and if they were particularly detailed spiers saw The Poet saunter in Tuesday at 9:45 p.m. and leave at 6 a.m.
He was on time. He brought drinks. As he came up the sidewalk I thought, “Oh shit. He’s more handsome than his photos.” And he is. This great hair, great smile, great beard. Mmmm.
We talked and talked and talked. He makes me laugh so much. We had been looking in each other’s eyes all night and I’d been wishing he’d kiss me. Finally I reached over and kissed him. Then it started raining it was so romantic and perfect. Full on making out on the front porch in a thunderstorm. Sighhhh. He really likes me. And I like him, except… I have such issue with anyone who can’t say Trump is a complete and utter diabolical asshole. I feel it is either an issue of intelligence or burying your head in the sand or with some white men it’s a white male privilege thing that they are ignorant of. The Photographer isn’t stupid. He isn’t Trumpy but he doesn’t dislike him, even said, “I can say I’m better off now than four years ago.” To which I replied, “That’s because Obama’s administration got us here.” Then we dropped it to have the date. He told me great stories of his time in the military and we talked about me ghost writing a book with him. The kissing was off the charts hot. We made out for hours, seriously, hours. We didn’t go to the bedroom the first date. He did however ask me to go on a road trip with him this summer. Lol yes he did and I didn’t let him forget it.
But… I went over Saturday night to his land. I went because I thought you know Scarlett there is so much there and maybe he isn’t as much about Trump as you think. Go check it out. He was still as cute as I thought, his voice is even sexy AF. He was still as into me if not more. We rode around on a Gator and looked at this gorgeous place. He said, “That would be a great place to write” as he pointed out a spot by the pond.
Then we went back to get snacks to start a bonfire. He was getting the ice in the chest and the snacks in a bag and we started kissing and then making out and then I started unbuttoning his shirt. So the readers who notice details will see I asked him out, kissed him first AND made the first move to have sex. Who cares? It was around 7 p.m. We had sex three times and lay on his bed naked cuddling for the next five hours folks. And talking and laughing. We shared funny date stories and just talked about life. He sees me. He got me. He said I should have “Trouble” tattooed on my forehead and he ain’t wrong. He said I was dangerous and I agreed. I was 100% honest with him about where I was with him being so fun and awesome but the whole Trump thing was bunging me up. He said just to keep him in the loop that he could deal with whatever cards were dealt he just needed to know what they were and if they ended up being an FWB he was okay with it. Not what he wanted but still wanting to be with me.
Today I texted him that while there was so much good stuff I knew that a relationship was gonna end in heartbreak. Then I asked about the FWB sitch and he was cool with it. He said he knew Thursday night I wasn’t into the LTR. I think I must have immediately switched modes when I heard the Trump thing honestly.
Also I need to not talk about all my year of sluttery stuff if I want a relationship, hellooooo. At least not on the first date.
I’m sad. This dating stuff is hard when you actually care about what happens. It hurts the old heart. It hurts a little about Hoppy, a tiny bit about the Cranky Narcissist, some about The Masseuse, some about The DJ (because although we never dated exclusively I know he wanted “serendipity” with me and I feel I let him down because I’m not there with him), and now The Photographer.
Perhaps I should not be so open. Sounds good but can I do it? I don’t know. I’ll write about the Tech Guy another time. Gotta get some sleeps dear readers. Send me good vibes to figure out my path.. and for heart healings.
Postscript: After reading this, the DJ texted and said I never disappointed him in any way, shape or form and that we had serendipity.
P.S.P.S. The Photographer agreed to the FWB sitch but then when I told him I was seeing the Tech Guy, who was the last contender right now for a relationship he said, “I thought I was a contender for a relationship. Good luck with what you’re looking for.”
What the hell? Uh. We just had this convo a few days ago as I reminded him, “I thought we moved you to FWB.”
He replied with a gif of Tom whats-his-face from Top Gun saying, “Yes Ma’am.” To which I laughed and said I did like him. He sent a Tom taking off his sunnies and winking. A few hours later he sent me a cute selfie. Men.
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