Consistency bitches. It all comes down to consistency.Friday
This week has not been good with the teacher. Damn it to hell.
Life is complicated isn’t it?
Last week he texted a lot but also called once or twice a day. This week the texts have been much fewer but still a phone call most days.
It’s funny because it’s really what you get used to isn’t it?
If he hadn’t been so so much last week, this week would have felt normal.
But because he was so so much last week, this week felt so much less. I’m fine with less as long as I know what’s going on. I’m not fine with games. I’ve had so many men just ghost and no he didn’t ghost but there were hmmm…. 50% less texts and phone calls.
I communicated my thoughts (and I stressed the fuck out honestly). I didn’t want to be stood up in Tulsa. He said he’d never do that.
Here’s what I think happened. He has a small business and was transitioning into education this year by being a substitute teacher to see what districts were good. A solid tactic, you get to know them and they get to know you. It gets you a job. I know lots of people who do this. Then COVID. No income for substitutes now. His side businesses of IT/home theater were also be hit hard since no one wants people in their homes right now. This is not stuff you want to bring up so early in a dating relationship as most women would run for the hills. I am not most women. He is working his ass off with Instacart and other gigs. I admire work ethic. I admire changing careers. I understand fucking world crises that decimates lives.
I am lucky and was assured week one that I’d receive my normal check and I could work from home. So lucky. If I didn’t have that I’d be stressed the fuckkkkk out. Also from talking to friends who have their own businesses I don’t think they get unemployment, which I know they don’t pay in, but can we support our small businesses right now please?
We ended up canceling the Tulsa visit. His texts the last two days have been so little that I cried. Always honest with you guys about my ridiculousness. I lost some sleep. I fretted. I can deal with, “Hey changed my mind. Good luck to you.” I will be sad for a minute, or two, but okay.
I hate the unknowing. Once again I communicated this. He said something about not having time and I asked if he’d been leading me on then? He’s not a great texter but so many men aren’t. He said, “No!” and asked me to understand that it was about moving and money.
Okay. I can do that.
There was enough awesomeness in those phone conversations and our video “date” to keep me in the game. Also honestly I’m not feeling like dating anyone right now anyway. I had my craziness last week and eh…. I’m gonna be happy with a book on my front porch for awhile now.
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