A great kiss and… meh sex

I had wine therapy group last night and, as I mentioned, my friends had someone they wanted me to meet. That makes me happy. Honestly I’ve wondered why more of my female friends haven’t set me up with their single men friends. Was it because I was sluttering? Perhaps. That can open a whole discussion on their thoughts of said sluttering and at base level wouldn’t that mean they “judge” it if they don’t want to introduce me to people they know?

I feel no judgement whatsoever from the wine therapy folk, only support and cheering really. This little wine therapy group is tightknit and love each other dearly and are THERE for each other and lo and behold they’ve let me in.

A different friend of mine, not in this group, consistently lets me know I’m an outsider to this city and that’s why I’m not invited to Chiefs football watching (Are they playing this year? What’s up with that? This year I will find a goddamn barstool and be in it every Sunday. Fuck it.) and why I meet people from another state on Tinder because they are also outsiders. Whuh? Ummm okay then. Sounds like a Shirley Jackson story.

I have a blast at wine therapy last night and yes there is a man sitting there when I walk in and I feel a bit shy (I know so weird right?) but I cover it and pretend I’m not shy. I’m mostly not shy so this isn’t terribly hard for me. As the evening progresses we all talk about life and I see the friendship he gives to my cohorts in the group and am impressed. We find some connections in our careers. The evening is ending and we walk one friend out and then head to our cars on the street. We talk for a bit, maybe ten minutes about how he became friends with the group. Then he says something along the lines of being happy to have these great friendships but they aren’t for sex and that’s cool but you know… and I say, “Maybe I can help with that part.”

His eyes widened. I smile at him with my I-want-to-eat-you-up smile.

He says he hasn’t seen that look on a woman’s face in awhile.

I pull him forward and we kiss. Mmmmmm, a great kiss, more kissing. I stand on my tippy-toes and… more kissing. Verrrrry nice kissing.

We set a date for the next avail night we both have. As we left I told him he was adorable to which he vociferously said how adorable I was.

I texted first this morning as I thought he might think I was drunk and forgot (I wasn’t drunk). He said, “In my mind we’re still kissing.” Swoon.

Our date is set for Sunday evening!

So I go from this sweet kiss and drive down to meet Bumble Biker in his hotel room and eh. I just didn’t have fun so I’m done with that. I’ve realized how much the flirting and seduction and laughter and LIKING someone is important to me. This thing with Bumble Biker was just walk in, have sex and leave. Yeah the Poet did that when he used to visit me but we made out first, and sex was sweet and wonderful and then pillow talk commenced which I always loved.

I feel a definite shift in what I want. 🙂

Photo by Hoang Loc on Pexels.com

2 thoughts on “A great kiss and… meh sex

  1. I know exactly what you mean. I was thinking the other day while doing the dishes (ha) that I went a bit crazy for a few years after marriage ending, during perimenopause and hormones raked up high. I went a bit genuinely stupid and made some really bad decisions. I couldn’t do that now, you know, having sex with randoms, nothing in it for me except the chase, even with so many men I wasn’t attracted to. I just went a bit ‘not me’. Now me is back and it’s amazing 🙂


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