Holy hell it’s Skeleton WOman

The union of two being is seen angagok magic in itself, as a relationship through which the ‘powers that be’ become known to both individuals. In order to create this enduring love, one invites a third partner to the union…. the Skeleton Woman.

Women Who Run With the Wolves, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Gawt damn this chapter. Chapter 5: Hunting: When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter.


You HAVE to read this book my female readers. The few males who read my blog would benefit also but it is POWER for women.

I love it so very much.

In Women Who Run With the Wolves, Dr. Pinkola-Estes takes stories and applies Jungian psychology/archetypes to the story. It is pure magic.

I’m serious. It’s magic. I can feel it working in me as I read and re-read.

So this chapter is about love. Mmm-hmmm. Love and finding a partner.

Yes I read it last year. But it hits different this week, after meeting The Drummer.

The story of the Skeleton Woman in a nutshell is:

Her father threw her in the sea because she displeased him. A fisherman catches her on his hook and accidentally drags her all the way to his igloo. When he sees her in the firelight he feels compassion and untangles her then falls asleep. A tear escapes while he sleeps and she drinks it, takes out his heart and drums it singing flesh onto herself. She sings the fisherman’s clothes off and cuddles him and they awaken “wrapped one around the other, tangled from their night, in another way now, a good and lasting way.”

Sighhhhhh. Isn’t that wonderful? Just the story is great but then Clarissa, my darling sweet fucking smart as all hell Clarissa delves into the story to show the seven stages of love. It’s about the Life/Death/Life cycle and it matters to EVERYTHING, literally everything.

Here are the seven tasks that teach one soul to love anotehr:

  1. The Accidental Finding of Treasure: “He does not realize he is bringing up the scariest treasure he will ever know, that he is bringing up more than he can yet handle {…} about to have all his powers tested.”
  2. The Chase and the Hiding : “The Death nature surfaces in love affairs just at the time we feel we have won over a lover, just as we feel we have ‘landed a big fish.” That’s when the Life/Death/Life nature surfaces and scares everyone sideways.”
  3. Untangling the Skeleton: “The fisherman shows his right intent, his power, and his increasing involvement with Skeleton Woman by untangling her. {…} She is touching his heart in some way just by being.”
  4. The Sleep of Trust: “… a lover returns to a stage of innocence, a state in which he is still awed by the emotional elements, a state in which he is full of wishes, hopes, and dreams.”
  5. Giving the Tear: “When one has ventured this far into the relationship with the Life/Death/Life nature, the tear that is cried is the tear of passion and compassion mixed together, for oneself, for the other.”
  6. Heart as Drum and Singing Up: “Giving one’s heart for new creation, for new life, for the forces of Life/Death/Life, is a descent into the feeling realm.”
  7. The Dance of Body and Soul: “When women are in their right instinctual minds, their ideas and impulses to love, to create, to believe, to desire are born, have their time, fade and die, and are reborn again.”

“To find this eminent life and love adviser, one only need stop running, do some untangling, face the wound and one’s own yearning with compassion, give one’s entire heart to the process.”

Yasssss queen.

I bought my first sugar skull item around 15 years ago, a wooden keychain that just fell off last year. It resides above my kitchen sink now. That was my first but not my last. I have had a bzillion over the years. I’m usually never more than six feet away from one, seriously. I have one in my car, each room, work… I’ve been wanting a skeleton tattoo for years and was going to do a sugar skull type thing but now I know it has to be Skeleton Woman. Now I know why I’ve been so enamored of skulls. I thought it was because I was trying to make death less scary, yes and no. After reading this chapter three times, some parts over and over and over… I realized the skull is about the Life/Death/Life cycle that Skeleton Woman represents. I always thought that death was failure. No! Death is needed for growth. It’s a cycle. I can see it so clearly now and let go of some ideas that bound me up. I can relax into life more. I can ease into this new relationship with The Drummer.

I’m off for my evening with The Drummer now. And isn’t it telling that there is a drum in this chapter?

Photo by Bianca on Pexels.com

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