This guy…

The act of untangling is essentially being intentional and present while doing the work of understanding self and other.

Women Who Run With The Wolves, Chapter Five

Yes I know. We are less than two weeks in. I’m doing well though! Really! I feel so good about this. I feel calm but happy. I feel excited to hang out with The Drummer again but not obsessing. I feel fucking mature lol.

So weird.

Now to make sure to maintain a balance of life, my writing, my reading, my friends and family AND the man.

He’s … thoughtful, kind, sweet, and a thinker.

He doesn’t know how to take a selfie but it’s fairly adorable to see what he sends. I bought him a shirt. I know I know, a week in. What can I say I was at a vintage store and saw these great colorful shirts and he wears such cool shirts that I thought of him and fuck it I bought him a 1960s shirt. He looks great in it.

I am in Seattle this week to visit the oldest. I left him some homework, to read chapter five, yes the Skeleton Woman chapter.

Ummmm he’s not only interested in reading it, he started reading before I left and has been sending his thoughts as he reads. Not only that he freaking typed up a sheet of “nuggets” he didn’t want to forget and put it on his goddamn mirror.

Fuck, what is not to LOVE about that?

Nothing. Nothing at all. In fact there is so very much to love about that and about the things he texts me. When he read the post about our date Thursday: “Ohhh myyyy goddd. I just read the post. Laughed and winced. I can be such a self-absorbed dork. Loved the honesty. It feels like trust. {…} It was me being self-absorbed enough to not be present the way I want to be. The way you deserve. {…} I’m not beating myself up. But I am sitting with it because I want to significantly reduce repetition of that dynamic. Let’s just say self-absorption isn’t new territory. {…} Regardless of which former partner of mine, if they were to read the part about you experiencing that self-absorbed moment, they’d just say, “I feel you sister. I feel you.”

See?

Um.

Wow.

Just Wow.

His texts consistently make me smile and feel happy and calm.

I know he’s a cool guy.

Now to see what will become of us as a couple which is just time.

Time to get to know one another. Time to see how we communicate when things are tough. Time to see if we bring to the table what the other needs. Time to be there through that Life/Death/Life cycle that’s sure to happen. Time to see what we will be to each other. Time to see if we have enough in common to possibly form a long-term partnership or if that is even what either one of us wants. We are both very independent and like our own space. But we also both have had grand times talking and touching.

Yes I’m a bit scared.

We’ve talked about being a bit of an open relationship but we haven’t fleshed that out at all. Will that work? Hell if I know. I know it is interesting to consider. I know I don’t want to lock him down not to continue on a journey he started years ago of seeing where he is and what he might want in being bisexual. I know I don’t feel “locked down” and that helps me to feel calm. He’s said he’d prefer a “don’t ask don’t tell” about me being with someone else, not in a love relationship just the physical realm. I’m in no way a “cheater” and feel we need to talk more about this but we will.

Right now I see a loving, supportive man with whom I have a physical, mental, and emotional connection with that is quite amazing.

Photo by Anastasiya Lobanovskaya on Pexels.com

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