The Drummer Speaks

So The Drummer showed me some of his writing and he’s gooood. I had told him of Rex & Naomi and how they take turns writing about their perspective and asked if he’d write his. So he did! Here is post one from The Drummer… enjoy!!! And definitely comment! -Scarlett


Hi, everyone. It’s The Drummer writing for y’all this time to share recent events from this male’s perspective.

Less than a month ago I was minding my own business, finally feeling content to live life as a single and unattached person.

After failed marriages and a couple later attempts at non-married relationships, I spent almost two years focused on learning to be a good friend to a core group of quality people. With their support and encouragement I got more comfortable keeping my own company, alone but not lonely. I also got better at being present in the moment and hearing and heeding my inner voice. In simple terms, my friends’ support helped me on my journey to discovering a better me.

And then my world shifted.

My friends Wine Therapy Badass and Verdant Wolf Woman invited me to a wine therapy session. I knew their friend Scarlett would be joining, but knowing I often overthink things, they didn’t share that they thought we might be a good match. (Thank you for that gift, my friends. I definitely would have overthunk it had I known.)

I arrived with no agenda other than enjoying wine and the company of good people. I was my natural self, comfortable in my own skin and, of course, charming. Because when I’m not nervous, I’m decent company.

While enjoying our evening drinking wine and swapping stories, Scarlett and I learned we had a lot in common. I’m pretty sure I said, “Wait. What? You too?” a couple of times regarding our commonalities. It was a little uncanny.

After bidding our farewells, Scarlett and I continued our conversation by street light. Somewhere in this chat I shared that most of my close friends are female (because women know how to have a meaningful conversation) and that our relationships were intimate without being sexual.

Scarlett replied that perhaps she could help with that. I was about to chuckle at her funny joke when she looked me in the eye in a way that let me know she was serious. More than that, her look clearly communicated she was attracted to me. She described it as her I-want-to-eat-you-up look.

I’m an eye-guy, y’all. I certainly notice and appreciate other physical attributes, but the eyes are where it’s at for me. And the depth of the look Scarlett was locking my eyes with was something a person could drown in. I stopped breathing for a bit.

I was totally surprised by what had just happened. I confess, I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes, and I was still assuming that Scarlett would be another quality person in my circle of friends.

It hadn’t occurred to me that she might want a different kind of connection. Hell, it hadn’t occurred to me that I might want a different kind of connection. It simply hadn’t been part of my agenda with anyone for over a year, back when I deleted all my dating apps and decided to focus on me and my friendships.

And then the kiss. Kisses, I guess. I sorta lost count.

Yep, as Scarlett shared in this post, I had a flash of worry about kissing a person I’d just met in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic. But I pushed the worry aside just as quickly as it popped into my head.

Those kisses, y’all. Combined with the eye connection? OTHER. WORLDLY.

Even being the slow-on-the-uptake person I can be, I realized in the moment that I had likely just met the person I’d stopped looking for.

I’ll expand on this in a future post because, I’m telling you, the story certainly goes on.

Photo by Alex Fu on

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